Sink or Swim You Gotta Give It A Whirl
By some standards in life, I was a late bloomer. I remember kids in 5th grade having boyfriends and girlfriends. Of course it was silly stuff looking back, but it was the beginning of watching my peers couple off. There they were, securing their bonds by holding hands on the bus or talking at lunch. Yep, in 5th grade that is all a "relationship" is. And really, in my way older than my years attitude, that is all it should be. Then junior high rolls around. The "dating thing becomes more serious. You can walk to classes together. You may even peck on the lips and go to dances together. Yep things were changing. Yet there I was still single. And looking back, it was my fault.
Though i was probably in no hurry to couple off back then, I also did myself no favors. It was 7th grade and I had a big crush on this girl who was in a bunch of my classes. Lynne was cute enough; a bit exotic looking. But she was someone I had gotten along with for years. So it was only a natural that as hormones began to overthrow my body, that I would slide into the next step with her. At least in my mind. Instead, I set the girl I was so enamored with up with another guy. Was it self sacrifice? Was it that she meant so much to me that all I wanted was to see her happy? Was it that I knew she would be ripe for the picking after they broke up? My motivation was simple. She would see how helpful I was and then she would totally fall for me. So I wasn't very bright in my younger years. I set them up and they were together for the rest of middle school as I remember. However my lack of confidence in the brave new world of the fairer sex would rear its ugly head once more in middle school.
The 8th grade dance is the big almost formal dance of middle school. Its like the prom for tweens. Around that time I had a new crush. Melissa was not the best looking girl but we had a lot in common. She also was friends with Lynne and we all know she was busy. But Melissa was still fun and I was contemplating asking her to the dance. Well I over-contemplated and never asked her. That fear of rejection was just too much for my 86 pound self to handle. But my buddies and I went stag and so did she. All night I wanted to ask her to dance. Never mind that I had no idea how to dance or really what to do and what was acceptable distance between our bodies or what it meant to "lead" or if that even mattered. So all of that coupled with the whole "they're all gonna laugh at you" thoughts going through my head was enough for me to just sit on my thumbs all night. Then the last song was announced. In a twist worthy of M Night Shala…Shinlan…Shamalamadingdong…the Sixth Sense guy, Melissa approached me and asked me to dance. I was overjoyed and elated. I took her hand and walked out on the dance floor. I put my hands on her waist and her arms went around my neck. We bobbed for a while and then the song was over. She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I thanked her for the dance and we walked outside, hand in hand, waiting for our respective rides. As her dad pulled up, we embraced once more…eh who am I kidding. The true story is she asked me to dance and I couldn't hear her. I asked her what she said(though really what else would she have been saying at the beginning of the last song) and she said "Nothing." and walked back. I later found out she thought I asked it meanly or something. But whatever it was, my lack of logic…or over abundance of it, ruined my chance at what I wanted. I learned that this was not the way to live. Confidence issues would not be a problem again.
High school rolled around and freshman year came and went. There were some girls I was interested in that just didn't work out in the whole "priming" process. Then sophomore year started. As I have stated, I was a member of the marching band so the last 2 weeks of summer were band camp. No, this is not going to be some dirty band camp story. To be honest it wasn't even camp. It was just 6 hours a day at the school. But I had decided to be the social butterfly that year. I had upperclassmen who had reached out to me the previous year and this year, I was going to be that person for the incoming freshmen. I said hello to everyone. I introduced myself and let them know they all had a friend. I didn't care if you were the biggest nerd or the hottest girl, you got the same treatment. Quite honestly, and in all arrogance, there were a few…unfortunates, who owed any social life they eventually had to me. I know, I am cruel, but it's true. I had the clout to say someone was cool and to have the legions believe it. And there was no one who did not make the cut. To my credit, i used my powers for good.
I believe it was after the first band competition that a girl at my bus stop told me her friend liked me. Her name was Amanda, a freshman, and I did remember briefly talking to her and her friend on the band bus that weekend. To be honest I thought she was her friend as I talked more to her than to Amanda. But after she was pointed out to me at our next practice, my interest was peaked. She was a bit shorter than me and cute as could be. Reddish-blonde hair which I just loved and a good body on her. Yeah I saw no downsides in this girl liking me. There was one issue. A friend of mine had developed a crush on me. She made it very clear that she was interested. I had no interest in her though but it did excite my ego to have 2 chicks interested. And it did not stop me from trying to flirt extra with both. The problem with my friend liking me was that she told Amanda that as she was my friend, she had first dibs and in essence told Amanda to back off.
At the next band competition, Amanda sat behind my friend and I. The bus was no place to talk to me 1 on 1. Being the social person I was, on the bus, i was house entertainment. I made sure everyone was having fun. From leading sing alongs of the Twisted Sister anthem "We're Not Gonna Take It" to just being loud and obnoxious, I was way too busy for any kind of intimate conversation. So we arrived and competed and all was well. Afterwards we all got changed and sit in the bleachers with our school. It was well known then as it is today that I am a great masseuse. So I started offering to all the lovely young ladies that i would be happy to rub their shoulders and backs and make them all feel better after holding those big instruments or rifles or what-nots. Let's face it, it was a great excuse to touch some hotties.
So my friend went first. I rubbed her for a bit then Amanda's friend went. Amanda was gun shy due to my friend's warning so I offered it to her. She accepted and I started rubbing her shoulders. As this was October in Connecticut, it was getting cold and she stated she was getting chilled. Cold has never really bothered me so i took off my heavy jacket and put it around her. To describe it, the back of the jacket was on her front and wrapped around her shoulders. This is important because as I was rubbing her shoulders, obviously my hands were now hidden. My friend was leaning against me as I rubbed. At some point, Amanda reached a hand up and held mine. Then the other followed. I was no longer massaging her. We were holding hands. Yes, I can hear your collective "AWWWWWW" as you read this. But for 15 year old me, this was significant. We sat like that for the rest of the night. At one point, my friend caught on and she checked under the coat. She saw the hand holding and became upset. I should have just told her I had no interest. But having 2 chicks chasing me was just too much fun.
We got on the bus to head home and when it's all dark on the bus, all bets are off. I sat with my back against the window, propped up on with my arms straddling the seat in front of and behind me…the very seat Amanda was sitting in. My friend laid down in my lap and as i brought my right arm down she held my hand. She was quiet and maybe trying to sleep or just trying to have a moment with me. But I wasn't in that moment. She had my right hand, but Amanda had my left arm. I had it wrapped around her and held her against the seat. I know this is true romance isn't it. The funny part to most people around us was that they could see all of it. They could see that I had a chick on each arm. I always make the joke nowadays that "Hyde" does not go out on the town without a chick on each arm. I wonder if that was the genesis for that. Probably not. Maybe I am just trying to find silly meaning in my shallowness. Among my circle of friends, this was all the rage to talk about come Monday morning.
I had people asking me who I was going to choose. Amanda once again kind of avoided me as my friend had issued yet another warning. I would love to say that this is all an exaggeration, but it isn't. In that world in high school, everyone is in everyone else's business. Because I was the social one who extended a hand to all of the people I could, they were all focused on my choice. The end of Monday had arrived and yet still I made no public declaration of my affections. Tuesday morning was the same thing but more intense. I had already made a decision but no one knew. Amanda was really avoiding me as my friend was all over my every move. Before school, our group(about 40 of us) would gather in a lecture hall as we waited for the start of the day. There was a ten minute bell and a five minute bell warning us how much longer we had before we had to be in our first class. People were waiting. The ten minute bell went and my time was running out. I had no classes with either girl. If I was to make a move, it would be now. Or…maybe later? The 5 minute bell sounded and I was out of time. That bell rang and we all started going to class. As amanda came down from up higher in the lecture hall, I quickly made my move. I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. Yeah, Mr. Suave I was. That was the best I could throw out there. How could anyone decline such a great offer. I asked her to go out, which was not in. We would be going someplace in theory. How I don't know as I was 15 and she was 14. And then, just to really bury myself, I threw in the sometime. I showed her I was aloof and open to suggestion. Or that I had no experience asking a girl out save a badly written note shoved into the desk of a girl named Kathleen in 6th grade. Yes we would go out…sometime. If she said yes….
At 15 years old, I had finally asked a girl out…sometime. At the time that seemed very late. Many friends of mine had already taken that plunge. But as I stated, I was a late bloomer by many people's standards. But I faced the challenge head on and went for it with the most nonthreatening non committal invite ever. Out sometime. Perhaps we would go somewhere someday.
She said Yes.
I said Cool.
Though i was probably in no hurry to couple off back then, I also did myself no favors. It was 7th grade and I had a big crush on this girl who was in a bunch of my classes. Lynne was cute enough; a bit exotic looking. But she was someone I had gotten along with for years. So it was only a natural that as hormones began to overthrow my body, that I would slide into the next step with her. At least in my mind. Instead, I set the girl I was so enamored with up with another guy. Was it self sacrifice? Was it that she meant so much to me that all I wanted was to see her happy? Was it that I knew she would be ripe for the picking after they broke up? My motivation was simple. She would see how helpful I was and then she would totally fall for me. So I wasn't very bright in my younger years. I set them up and they were together for the rest of middle school as I remember. However my lack of confidence in the brave new world of the fairer sex would rear its ugly head once more in middle school.
The 8th grade dance is the big almost formal dance of middle school. Its like the prom for tweens. Around that time I had a new crush. Melissa was not the best looking girl but we had a lot in common. She also was friends with Lynne and we all know she was busy. But Melissa was still fun and I was contemplating asking her to the dance. Well I over-contemplated and never asked her. That fear of rejection was just too much for my 86 pound self to handle. But my buddies and I went stag and so did she. All night I wanted to ask her to dance. Never mind that I had no idea how to dance or really what to do and what was acceptable distance between our bodies or what it meant to "lead" or if that even mattered. So all of that coupled with the whole "they're all gonna laugh at you" thoughts going through my head was enough for me to just sit on my thumbs all night. Then the last song was announced. In a twist worthy of M Night Shala…Shinlan…Shamalamadingdong…the Sixth Sense guy, Melissa approached me and asked me to dance. I was overjoyed and elated. I took her hand and walked out on the dance floor. I put my hands on her waist and her arms went around my neck. We bobbed for a while and then the song was over. She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I thanked her for the dance and we walked outside, hand in hand, waiting for our respective rides. As her dad pulled up, we embraced once more…eh who am I kidding. The true story is she asked me to dance and I couldn't hear her. I asked her what she said(though really what else would she have been saying at the beginning of the last song) and she said "Nothing." and walked back. I later found out she thought I asked it meanly or something. But whatever it was, my lack of logic…or over abundance of it, ruined my chance at what I wanted. I learned that this was not the way to live. Confidence issues would not be a problem again.
High school rolled around and freshman year came and went. There were some girls I was interested in that just didn't work out in the whole "priming" process. Then sophomore year started. As I have stated, I was a member of the marching band so the last 2 weeks of summer were band camp. No, this is not going to be some dirty band camp story. To be honest it wasn't even camp. It was just 6 hours a day at the school. But I had decided to be the social butterfly that year. I had upperclassmen who had reached out to me the previous year and this year, I was going to be that person for the incoming freshmen. I said hello to everyone. I introduced myself and let them know they all had a friend. I didn't care if you were the biggest nerd or the hottest girl, you got the same treatment. Quite honestly, and in all arrogance, there were a few…unfortunates, who owed any social life they eventually had to me. I know, I am cruel, but it's true. I had the clout to say someone was cool and to have the legions believe it. And there was no one who did not make the cut. To my credit, i used my powers for good.
I believe it was after the first band competition that a girl at my bus stop told me her friend liked me. Her name was Amanda, a freshman, and I did remember briefly talking to her and her friend on the band bus that weekend. To be honest I thought she was her friend as I talked more to her than to Amanda. But after she was pointed out to me at our next practice, my interest was peaked. She was a bit shorter than me and cute as could be. Reddish-blonde hair which I just loved and a good body on her. Yeah I saw no downsides in this girl liking me. There was one issue. A friend of mine had developed a crush on me. She made it very clear that she was interested. I had no interest in her though but it did excite my ego to have 2 chicks interested. And it did not stop me from trying to flirt extra with both. The problem with my friend liking me was that she told Amanda that as she was my friend, she had first dibs and in essence told Amanda to back off.
At the next band competition, Amanda sat behind my friend and I. The bus was no place to talk to me 1 on 1. Being the social person I was, on the bus, i was house entertainment. I made sure everyone was having fun. From leading sing alongs of the Twisted Sister anthem "We're Not Gonna Take It" to just being loud and obnoxious, I was way too busy for any kind of intimate conversation. So we arrived and competed and all was well. Afterwards we all got changed and sit in the bleachers with our school. It was well known then as it is today that I am a great masseuse. So I started offering to all the lovely young ladies that i would be happy to rub their shoulders and backs and make them all feel better after holding those big instruments or rifles or what-nots. Let's face it, it was a great excuse to touch some hotties.
So my friend went first. I rubbed her for a bit then Amanda's friend went. Amanda was gun shy due to my friend's warning so I offered it to her. She accepted and I started rubbing her shoulders. As this was October in Connecticut, it was getting cold and she stated she was getting chilled. Cold has never really bothered me so i took off my heavy jacket and put it around her. To describe it, the back of the jacket was on her front and wrapped around her shoulders. This is important because as I was rubbing her shoulders, obviously my hands were now hidden. My friend was leaning against me as I rubbed. At some point, Amanda reached a hand up and held mine. Then the other followed. I was no longer massaging her. We were holding hands. Yes, I can hear your collective "AWWWWWW" as you read this. But for 15 year old me, this was significant. We sat like that for the rest of the night. At one point, my friend caught on and she checked under the coat. She saw the hand holding and became upset. I should have just told her I had no interest. But having 2 chicks chasing me was just too much fun.
We got on the bus to head home and when it's all dark on the bus, all bets are off. I sat with my back against the window, propped up on with my arms straddling the seat in front of and behind me…the very seat Amanda was sitting in. My friend laid down in my lap and as i brought my right arm down she held my hand. She was quiet and maybe trying to sleep or just trying to have a moment with me. But I wasn't in that moment. She had my right hand, but Amanda had my left arm. I had it wrapped around her and held her against the seat. I know this is true romance isn't it. The funny part to most people around us was that they could see all of it. They could see that I had a chick on each arm. I always make the joke nowadays that "Hyde" does not go out on the town without a chick on each arm. I wonder if that was the genesis for that. Probably not. Maybe I am just trying to find silly meaning in my shallowness. Among my circle of friends, this was all the rage to talk about come Monday morning.
I had people asking me who I was going to choose. Amanda once again kind of avoided me as my friend had issued yet another warning. I would love to say that this is all an exaggeration, but it isn't. In that world in high school, everyone is in everyone else's business. Because I was the social one who extended a hand to all of the people I could, they were all focused on my choice. The end of Monday had arrived and yet still I made no public declaration of my affections. Tuesday morning was the same thing but more intense. I had already made a decision but no one knew. Amanda was really avoiding me as my friend was all over my every move. Before school, our group(about 40 of us) would gather in a lecture hall as we waited for the start of the day. There was a ten minute bell and a five minute bell warning us how much longer we had before we had to be in our first class. People were waiting. The ten minute bell went and my time was running out. I had no classes with either girl. If I was to make a move, it would be now. Or…maybe later? The 5 minute bell sounded and I was out of time. That bell rang and we all started going to class. As amanda came down from up higher in the lecture hall, I quickly made my move. I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. Yeah, Mr. Suave I was. That was the best I could throw out there. How could anyone decline such a great offer. I asked her to go out, which was not in. We would be going someplace in theory. How I don't know as I was 15 and she was 14. And then, just to really bury myself, I threw in the sometime. I showed her I was aloof and open to suggestion. Or that I had no experience asking a girl out save a badly written note shoved into the desk of a girl named Kathleen in 6th grade. Yes we would go out…sometime. If she said yes….
At 15 years old, I had finally asked a girl out…sometime. At the time that seemed very late. Many friends of mine had already taken that plunge. But as I stated, I was a late bloomer by many people's standards. But I faced the challenge head on and went for it with the most nonthreatening non committal invite ever. Out sometime. Perhaps we would go somewhere someday.
She said Yes.
I said Cool.
posted by Jon M Hyde at
3:04 AM
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