A Hyde's Tale

I said welcome to my show!

2010-03-15T04:38:00.000-07:00

I turned 29 on March 3rd, 2010. One year away from..thirty. Scary thought indeed. So I celebrated by living out my greatest childhood fantasy. I fronted my rock n roll band playing in front of a sold out crowd in one of the most beautiful outdoor venues in the world. Ok, so maybe I actually played on a small stage to about 40 people. But to me, I was in a jam packed arena in front of screaming fans who knew every word to every song we sang. Its what i always wanted since as long as I can remember. And yet, on my 29th birthday, it was my band's first proper show. Though in reality it was the second time my band Myerjack had played for people. The first time was interesting to say the least.

The genesis of my band goes back to 2000. Or at least the name does. I would love to say that it was a name i drew on fictional posters that I envisioned would be plastered all over the world. But it all came about far more accidentally. And in all fairness maybe goes back a little farther.

In high school, I was in the marching band clique but had aspirations to branch out. No easy task for a short guy with a mullet and braces but I was gonna go for it. Slowly I crept out of that pigeonhole. I was lucky that I had a carefree attitude and would just talk to people and found that people usually would talk back regardless of social status. I was on good terms with a lot of people that others in my position should not have been. Confidence is key. There was one girl I decided I would get to know.

This girl was cute but I was more intrigued by her than anything. She had a sweet smile but I knew nothing about her. We were in a few classes together so I decided that I would speak to her as well. Sure to my plan it worked and this girl who was not of my social circle was soon talking with me on a daily basis. It was never romantic or anything and it was never supposed to be. Just me reaching beyond my limits that others enforced and accepted. More on that another time.

Fast forward to after graduation and in the year 2000. I am in Wal Mart with my family. Ugh I wish this story did not start out that way but what can i say? They rollback prices and I am in! In Wal Mart I am greeted by a voice I had not heard since before graduation. There was the girl with the sweet smile. She approached me and we exchanged pleasantries. We parted as my sister came walking over to me. She asked who that girl was. I told her it was Kristen Meyerjack. She looked at me and then said, "There's your band name." I dropped an "e" and Myerjack was born.

Ok so maybe it was just conceived. I would move to Nashville and play around with a few lineups before feeling that Myerjack was ready for the public stage. In March of 2007, our drummer Brandon said that his boss wanted us to play at a party he was having. We had visions of how fun it would be to just get out and do a show. My partner in all things Myerjack is Justin Jacobs. He and I have been playing together since 2005 so we were feeling antsy to actually play for people.

We accepted the gig but we still had one problem. It wasn't lack of experience or anything that easy. We had no bass player. We had tried out a guy named Keith and decided we needed to accelerate the process. Keith fit with us and was a great guy so he officially joined the band the Tuesday before we were to play this show. Nothing like trial by fire. Lucky for us he was a quick study.

I was set to arrive later than everyone else. Due to my overnight job at the radio station, I had to sleep late. I wasn't nervous so I slept very well. I got dressed and started the 20 mile drive to the "show". Jake called me and told me this would be a very interesting experience. I listened to some early Def Leppard demos on my way. Here was a band that would go on to be huge in their very early raw unpolished stages. It gave me hope and put me at ease. I felt confident about our songs and ready to have some fun.

I arrived at the house to find my drummer arguing with his wife. This was no shock especially on a show day. I just knew his wife would try to sabotage anything good in his our our lives. Apparently one of them had locked their keys in their car and drama ensued. As the argued I made my way around the back of the house. I saw our gear placed on 4 pieces of plywood covering the grass. Not quite Madison Square Garden.

We took the "stage" and played 5 songs. No one really paid any attention to us. I wondered why we were even there. The "crowd" was fifty feet away and to the left in a tent. As we weren't a cover band I could not blame them for not paying attention. It was an odd idea to even have us there. I think our drummer's boss knew he had a band and figured it would be nice to let us play.

We played with some manufactured enthusiasm and I sang poorly. I half-assedly twirled a cane I brought as a prop. The vibe was just all wrong. And we played a ballad! What were we thinking? I am pretty sure even we were bored halfway through the song. The best part of it was that my buddy filmed it for us. We would have the opportunity to relive "The Plywood Show"(as it came to be known in band lore) over and over and as often as we wanted.

When we finished we figured we should celebrate this milestone for the band. It was decided we would hit up a chain eating establishment best known for their waitresses in tight white shirts and orange shorts. Of course the argument between our drummer and his wife continued and he decided not to join. After packing up we headed to the owl adorned restaurant. We spent the whole time ragging on the guy. This was the beginning of the end of his time in Myerjack. One step forward, two steps back.

With one gig under our belts we felt pretty good. We watched back the tape of our show like a football team watches a game. We strategized our strengths and weaknesses. We critiqued ourselves to improve upon our performances for next time. But that would be a ways off. before the end of '07, we had lost a bass player and a second guitarist. Happily we were able to replace our drummer quickly. We were on our way....

Just keep walking

2010-03-12T00:53:00.000-08:00

After reading my previous blog(if you haven't yet, do so then come back here), you understand my feelings toward the ending of a relationship. But how do I find myself stuck in these things? Given what you must think of me as an almost human being, you no doubt can't believe any chick would really want to spend extended periods of time in my presence. What you don't realize is that so few are given the chance.

Let me take you back a few weeks. A buddy of mine from many years past(Tom, who you may remember from my blog about my first band) invited me out with some of his friends to celebrate his birthday. We sat at dinner as I became acquainted with his friends. Stories were exchanged and good times were had. After dinner we headed out to one of the lovely music/drinking venues on Broadway in Music City. Tom has a girlfriend so that left me and two of his buds flying solo. As one of his friends began to drink, he started going through every woman in the bar and picking out the good pieces of all of them. That is where he and I differed.

The optimist in him was looking at the good: Perfect Breasts, beautiful hair, great ass and well, you know the attributes men covet the most when half in the bag and looking for something whose morning breath won't be better than the face it emanates from. Yes he was in pursuit of something cuddly and was looking at the bright side of his options.

Those of us who don't drink are not so forgiving. Instead of looking at the good, I was and always am drawn directly to what is wrong with every woman I cross. When I explained this to my new best friend, he was intrigued. You see, he had some mornings he would regret and was intrigued of my ideas of being so finicky that some of the top Hollywood actresses would not find their way into my bed. He asked me then to lay out some of my supposed deal breakers. We played a game where he would pick out a girl and I would find some superficial reason why she would have no chance with me. He was entertained and yet completely fascinated. So this blog is for him.

Let's start with the superficial shall we.

Short hair. I like my women to have long hair. More specifically, it would be nice if they had better hair than mine. This is no easy feat I assure you so I can forgive that. But for me to find you attractive, you must have long hair. At least an inch past the shoulder if not a lot more. He pointed out to him what was an attractive girl who had a very closely shorn hairstyle. I told him to go for it. No thanks. Of course if you have long stringy hair and the tips or your ears are sticking through, keep driving through you Vulcan. Color me pet peeved.

Bad Teeth. I like my women to have all of their teeth...or at least all the ones that grew in. I know some of you...ok maybe one of you who may be reading this have a hereditary thing where some of your teeth did not grow in right. If you got a bridge, I can forgive. But to those of you who let them abscess and fall out, or have not fixed the problems caused by lazy childhood incisors not knowing when to let go, you will not find your way into my world. You have dental insurance! Fix it!

Porn attire. Look, we men love you ladies showing some skin. We really do. But I don;t care how popular Jenna Jameson is, we don't you dressing like a porn star or a prostitute behind on her rent. I'm not saying that walking in with a sweatshirt on and your day old hair in a bun is going to prompt me to approach you, but save that for when we are comfortable and enjoy each other's company. Classy but not frumpy is the way to go. Come in wearing a bra and a skirt, you will get my eyes, but not my ears.

Tramp Stamp! Or quite honestly any tattoo. My inebriated compatriot kept staring at the beautiful blonde bartender in this establishment. I could not blame him. She was indeed a tasty morsel. She looked very good in her sweatshirt, which is no easy task. He looked away and i caught her bending over. After catching a glimpse of her magnificent posterior in her ever so tight denim shorts, my eyes caught site of a foul blotch of permanent ink splotched right above her waist band. Ladies, please stop this. You can tell me that it means something to you. You can tell me you were young and dumb. But really, you don't need to justify your decisions to me. I am just some guy you just met who has no interest now in seeing you naked. No explanation necessary. I don't think the butterfly on your ankle is cute. I don't like brass knuckles on your left breast. I don't even like your memorial to your grandmother who read to you when you were 5 and your Teddy Ruxpin ran out of batteries. Beautiful story no doubt, but that still is not going to get you in the running.

Well that was superficial. And yet, let's look at what I left out. Age(well please be above 18), weight, race. Yup all that stuff is way secondary. If you are 43, a bit overweight(obesity looks good on no one sorry) and Korean, you are not automatically disqualified. That is, until we start talking.

Bad conversation. If you can't talk the talk, don't bother walking. Its a sad state of affairs that some women out there believe that men want a dumb chick, or at least one who is not smarter than them. Nothing is sexier than brains...and beautiful red hair covering the scalp atop the skull that protects said brains. Of course conversation is really more about social skills than smarts. But the two do intertwine. Please be socialized. If your parents sheltered you and kept you away from other kids the the point where you are afraid of your own shadow so you hide in the corner, we won't get long for long. Great conversation with a social and witty woman will stimulate me more than just about anything...well, within moments of meeting that is. Ladies, please be smart if you are. Be powerful and confident. If a guy is intimidated by that, then he is a little boy with issues and you can do better. You can do me.

Offspring. We get to talking. You are witty and I am enjoying our repartee. Then you throw out the idea that you are a mother. Single mothers can be hard working fantastic women who dedicate their lives to their children as the man who left them to do this is off doing blow off the back of a stripper. However they can't be potential mates for me. I don't like children. I don't want any. I don't want to be dad to your little buddy and I certainly don't want to hear stories about your spermed egg and the cute things it does now that it has broken free of your womb. I refer to children as "it" and would much rather you have a dog. At least you can leave your pup home for a few hours while we go to a concert. Now if you are a little older and your kid can be left home alone as you go to a concert, then the conversation is reopen! You have re qualified. Congratulations.

Those are just the easy ones. When we talk you will say things. I will be judging what you say and how you say it. I will listen to details that you are using for exposition and find they say more about you than the plot of your stories. You will tell me a heartwarming story about that one summer you spent with your mom and your step dad on a farm and how great it was and I will focus on the fact that your real dad was not part of your life and that may cause some "daddy issues". Its unfair, I know. But let's face it, its better than the guy who will bang you and slip out before the sun comes up. Its far nicer than the girl who will tell her friends the story of the cute guy she met but he was a loser because he had spinach in his teeth.

Yes these terrible guidelines I have laid out could make any woman angry. Then again, don't we all have these. I know my long hair is not for every girl out there. I know I am chunkier than I should be and shorter than I want to be. I can get rejected on these merits. Things I can and can't control. I judge you based on what you do, how you represent yourself and how you deal with situations. You judge me based on genetics and my written words of honesty and your notions of the perfect match. I just don't waste time. Mine or yours. But I can guarantee you I will be polite and courteous. Judging by what I have seen happening lately, not everyone is as courteous.

I'm not God's gift. I'm honest and harsh. However, I will keep these thoughts to myself and politely decline your invitation. I will lie to you as to why so that you walk away with your head up. I will not lie to you so that your head ends up in my crotch. If you make it to my world, you have passed many a test. Good for you. Sure you didn't want to be tested. But at least I am not some jackass who just wants to get in your pants and forget your name. And let's face it, there are always exceptions. Impress me! And I will do the same for you.

I'm an asshole. But you could do a lot worse. And let's face it, you have.

No need to whimper. No Need to shout. This party's over....

2010-03-11T02:35:00.000-08:00

I am a single man. I know that with all these looks into my life that reflect my ever glowing personality that this is no easy piece of meat to digest, but it is true. And all you ladies out there who want to know just how glowing I am, my last breakup was done via text message. Yes, I sent the text. Your groans and red hot anger are somehow beaming through the information superhighway at lightning speed and resting firmly in that part of my brain directly behind my eyes that can only be compared to a brain freeze headache. As I drink my milkshakes rather slowly, I can only blame your disappointment and rage.

What kind of a man does this? Is he really more boy than man? I could go into a magical explanation as to why this was the right move with this particular girl, but I will spare you. No, I will just sum it up as succinctly as possible for you.

I'm an asshole.

There is no good way to end a relationship nor a less painful way. These are myths women like to believe in for some reason. And we men go along with it all the while knowing it means nothing. The Band Aid(or adhesive strip) rips the hair no matter how fast or slow or how far away you are when it is pulled. And yet emphasis is placed on this.

There is the respect factor. Supposedly there is a timetable of how long you are with someone that dictates how you break up with them. One such edict states that if you are with someone longer than a month then you are obligated to end your relationship with them in person, looking lovingly into their eyes and telling them that you have lost the power to care for them anymore. That the sound of them eating or the way they blow their nose or the way they sigh instead of speaking makes you want to punch your own face rather than sit in a room with them and talk about their day. Yes all of this is supposedly better related in person.

Ok but that is only if their is honesty in the break up. But women, I am going to part with a dirty secret here. You have conditioned us men to lie. You don't actually want to know if you are too fat for that dress, do you? You don't really want to know if that waitress is better looking than you are. When you anger us, you don't really want us to tell you. A good amount of us who are older than the Emo generation can actually sort out our own issues with what you do and look past them, thus not angering you and maintaining the status quo. And you would not have it any other way.

So why should all of this not apply to the end? Do you really want to know why we are breaking up with you? Do you really want to know what you did wrong? Or would you rather the "It's Not You It's Me"? If we didn't point out your faults during the relationship, why should we start now? Fixing your issues does nothing to help us if we are done with you. Sure we could be helping a brother out in the future. But let's face it, just because we are done with you does not mean we can't wait to help the next slimy XY chromosonian round third base and head for home.

No, we would rather let you believe that we are done with you for some silly reason. We all lie at the end. The only ones who don't are the ones who are caught cheating. It's the only moment of honesty in a relationship full of lies. The rest of us just end it the way we let it roll on. Full of deceit. We give you the excuses about moving in different directions. We tell you we need to find ourselves. We tell you that you are great but we need some space.

And ladies, is that really better? Women always end up asking some friend of a friend is there is someone else. Is that what you want? Do you want us to find the next one before we get rid of you? Does that make it better? Is it easier to think that we prefer someone in particular over you than choosing the hope that we can find someone better than you? Being told that we want someone else over you must be hard. But I imagine it is harder to be told that we just don't want you. The message is the same no matter what. We sugarcoat and we choose our words wisely but we are still saying that we don't want to be emotionally responsible for you anymore.

And how does the delivery of said message change any of that? Is it better to be told to your face that your face sickens me? Are you looking for a shred of decency and compassion in my eyes? Keep looking baby, I'm all tapped out. Then there is the indignity of the crying. And sorry men some of you fall into this world too. Who wants to see this? Is there anything more unattractive than a crying adult? Everything is leaking on your face at once. It is foul. You don't want to do that in front of me and I have no interest in seeing it. I don't owe it to you to sit through this, regardless of how long we have been together.

Then, there is the begging. I never understood this. If someone does not want to be with you, why do you want to convince them to stay with you. Once again I am looking at some guys out there too. Why try to win someone back? Winning ones affections for the first go around is a grand pursuit and always worth it. But trying to sell someone the same old car that they are looking to send to the scrap heap is just not reasonable. And your commission will suck if that is how you go about it. When someone says they no longer want to be with you, take it for what it is. Don't make them explain exactly why you have no chance of convincing them to change their mind. Let it go.

And what better way to ensure that none of this embarrassment happens than to do it over the phone. Sure you could call, but whimpering and crying sounds terrible over wireless phones. And the begging is usually a second behind the answers as to why you are no longer wanted so that could get frustrating. But this is still an option.

In today's modern world we have an even better way of breaking up from another household. Short Messaging Service aka SMS aka Text Messaging has changed everything. In 160 characters or less I can sum up how it's not you and that we are going in different directions. And the best part is that you can calculate your response and save face. Yes, there is a very quiet dignity in our 21st century toys. All words chosen wisely and no words said in pathetic sadness that you will later regret.

I know you are asking about email and Instant messaging but these are truly child's play. The lack of instant in e-mail means you are stuck in this relationship until the other person acknowledges receipt of said message. That is far too long to be stuck with someone you want away from. And Instant Messaging is practically dead due to unlimited text plans on phones so just send the Termination of Relationship plan direct to their 10 digits and be on your way.

I've made a lot of generalizations here. I've always said you can hurt yourself being offended at what I think or have to say. If you are offended, then maybe you need to step away from the keyboard. Or maybe you see some shred of truth in my lack of humanity that scares you. Either way, no not every man or woman is like this. Quite honestly I see more men taking on the formerly female role in relationships and more importantly and sadly, break ups. There is no good way to be told someone doesn't feel for you how you do for them. The best you can do is break up with them and let them hate you. Being "nice" in a break up only makes the person hurt more because you are so great even in ending things. Make them hate you and you have done it right. In our times, 160 digital characters travelling over a 3G(or 4G but let's face it, if you are on Sprint, your messages don't go through anyway) network is the humane way of making someone let go. Anything else is a waste of time.

Yep. I'm an asshole.

3 Black Eyes And A Busted Nose

2010-01-18T04:55:00.000-08:00

It's my feeling that we all have irrational things happen to us in life. Things that just defy explanation no matter how much we look back at them and try to make sense of the situation. We retrace our steps and the steps of anyone else involved to see how we came to that point. When I think of irrational moments in life, I am brought back to a particular moment in my sophomore year in High School. The day I was forever deformed.

Sitting in second period Literature class, I was thinking ahead to third period History. I had been absent earlier in the week and knew we had a test coming up that day. Absence is no excuse. Remember, I come from Connecticut where we had real education. So knowing this, I began to seek a solution to my issue. The test was an open note test, yet I had no notes. I remembered that the kid sitting in front of me, Andy, had the same class fifth period. We were not friends. Andy was the kind of guy who would sell out his best friend if a popular kid so much as looked at him. It was during this year that I began to straddle the line into the popular world as the football players in this very Literature class took a liking to me. So he was not the type I would befriend but we were ok with each other. I tapped him on the shoulder and explained my dilemma. I came up with the idea that I would borrow his notes for Third period, go to Spanish class for fourth period and then wait for him outside that very History class prior to fifth period for the return of the notes. A fantastic plan and he accepted my terms. He handed me the notes and my life was changed forever.

I went to History and took the test. Then, in accordance with the plan, I went to Spanish class. After Spanish, I took the short walk around the corner and waited outside the History classroom to make the note exchange. We had four minutes to get from class to class. We were signaled that our four minutes were up by a ball and when that bell went off, if you were not in your classroom, you were late. Well i waited on Andy. And waited. I waited until the bell rang alerting me that I was late for fifth period. I waited an extra few minutes and still no Andy. I didn't know where the hell he was or why he was now late for his test, but I had my own attendance to worry about and I took off to fifth period Band without giving it much of another thought. I did not see Andy for the rest of the day.

Thursday began like any other day. I went to first period math and joked around with my buddy Jeff. Then off to Homeroom. The bell rang to signal that we were to go to our second period class. It was a short walk to second period Literature and I happen to run into a guy I talked with from time to time Kris, on his way to the very same class. I turned from the hall and entered the classroom. My head was turned backward to the left as I was talking with Kris who was behind me. I turned my head back to the front. BAM!!

Something hit the left side of my face. My initial reaction was that someone was throwing a baseball in the room and it nailed me. I am not sure how I came to that conclusion but in that split second it made sense. As I regained my senses, I became aware of Andy standing in front of me cursing me out. As I had not gone down or even lost my balance, I just looked at him and walked right through him. It was while walking I realized he had hit me. In my own way, I am largely passive. If that made him feel good then so be it. I looked better than he did as his baby punch had not even knocked me off my feet so really, I was already the winner. I turned into my seat and it was then I noticed the trail of blood I was leaving in my path.

My teacher had not yet entered the room but I grabbed a tissue from his desk and held it to my nose. Andy was still cursing at me but I was not paying any attention to him. Other students were still in a bit of shock but I think a few were rooting for a fight. Within seconds of holding the tissue to my nose, I had dyed it red all the way through. He had gotten me good enough to give me a nose bleed but I felt fine so I wasn't worried. I felt no pain after the initial pressure of the impact had subsided. So I wasn't overly concerned about my nosebleed. My teacher entered the room and asked me what was wrong. As Andy had not done much damage and I wasn't in pain, I told him I had just sprung a leak. More and more tissues were now fully crimson and my teacher handed me a handkerchief. That too was soon dyed completely red. It was at this point that my teacher thought that maybe I should see the nurse, if for no other reason than just to make people in the room more at ease. There were pools of blood on the floor from when I switched out the tissues.

In the nurse's office, I held to my story. A random nosebleed had hit me and it just wasn't stopping. She gave me an amazing amount of paper towels and and told me to hold them. At one point when she was checking on me she had me switch paper towels. With my nose visibly revealed to her from under the abundance of paper, she asked me if I had ever broken my nose. I replied that I hadn't but that I have a big nose and I can't blame her for thinking so. Finally the bleeding stopped. The paper towels were remaining their native color so it seemed the worst was over. I stepped into the bathroom to clean up. I splashed my face with water and scrubbed under my nose. Then I looked in the mirror.

My nose, as huge and grotesque as it already was, looked like the letter "C". It started normal enough at the top but then it heavily veered to the right side of my face before returning back to its natural position at the bottom. If you had to wake up and see this face staring back at you in the mirror everyday, you would be used to the horrors found in reflection. But I couldn't get God in trouble for doing this to me. But Andy had altered my appearance, and I could take him to task for it!

I stormed out of the nurse's bathroom and said to her that I had lied. The nosebleed story was bullshit and and I was hit...no I was attacked...wait, I was assaulted!! We got the dean of students in the room with us and I told her exactly what went down. I heard the announcement over the loudspeaker. "Andy to the Dean's Office". I would have felt happy except I had this issue of a mis-shapen nasal cavity. My mother left work to come pick me up. "Yeah, you got banged up good.", she said. We went to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and he confirmed that my nose was indeed broken(thanks Doctor Obvious), and would require surgery. I had never broken anything before or needed surgery so this was distressing news. It was scheduled for Monday. I went home for the rest of the day. However, in the world of teen pressures, one problem loomed large. Friday.

Up until this point, no one had really seen my nose. Undoubtedly word of the incident spread like crazy for the rest of the day. I was well known(famous? infamous? you decide) and no doubt when Andy returned to class he would tell others about it. Andy. What was my recourse with him? I knew he would be suspended but I knew we could do better. I always told people that if someone wanted to fight me I would let them hit me and then just sue them. It was the mid 90s. Retaliation put you 98% at fault! The only thing to do was to take the high road. I had unconsciously already done that.

The day was not over for injuries though. That Friday evening I was to go to the Brooks & Dunn/Reba McEntire concert at the Hartford Civic Center. I was going with 2 girls, Margie(who could drive) and that very friend who, if you remember my previous blogs, was trying to lure me away from Amanda earlier in the year(if you are confused, see my "http://www.jonmhyde.com/blog/2009/10/sink-or-swim-you-gotta-give-it-whirl.html" blog). Well the two of them got into a minor car accident that afternoon. Margie was ok and the other friend had a hairline fracture of her pinkie finger. And she was already playing it up. I was assaulted and deformed but she bruised her hand. Ugh. What would our combined injuries mean for our Friday night festivities? And even worse, how was I going to go to school with my face even worse than normal? The answer to these and more questions in our next paragraph!!

Friday morning arrived and as I left my house, I grabbed a bandanna. At the bus stop people were already curious. A lot of looks of disgust but that was normal. On the bus I put on the bandanna. Old west outlaw style tied around the bridge of my misplaced nose. I walked into the area where my group of people hung out before school and people were begging for a reveal. I waited a few minutes, while listening to Margie and her friend playing up their accident to the one person who would listen, my ex who was not speaking to me. All the others wanted to see my freak self. I waited and waited but then I pulled the bandanna down and revealed my schnoz. People tried to say it wasn't bad but their faces betrayed them. With that over, I headed into my day.

First period Math and my buddy Jeff shared some interesting info that he had not thought to share with me the previous day as we sat in the very same chairs. He had spoken with Andy the day of the note snafu at lunch and Andy said he was going to punch me as I was responsible for him failing this test.* I now had proof that this whole sucker punch was pre meditated. People who knew me and my stance on fighting began asking me if I was going to sue. I had every intention of doing so. The rest if the day people stared like I was an oddity. My second period Lit teacher snubbed me as I think he was mad at me for lying to him. The greatest validation in it was during fifth period Band when my fellow drummer and Senior classman Todd, who had fallen through so many cracks he never gave anyone other than his 2 other drummer friends the time of day, asked me if I had gone down. "No Todd," I said, "I walked right through him to my seat." "Good job." he said with a smile. Yep. I was tough.

The day ended and I was determined to go the the concert as were my two companions. We probably looked like a recovery room nightmare moreso than happy concert goers but nothing was gonna get in the way of our fun night of country music. It was during my boredom as Brooks & Dunn played that I realized I was still able to breathe through my nose, despite its appearance. I expected that this was a good thing. It made watching Reba that much more rewarding.

Monday rolled around and I went in for surgery. I was in the Operating Room and they had started the anesthesia. They asked me to count backwards from ten. I think I hit 9 before the next thing I knew I was being woken up by an oxygen mask on my face. I really just wanted to sleep but they gotta wake you up. Now, I don't remember leaving the hospital, but I swear I walked out. However it has come to my attention that you aren't allowed to walk out after an operation so I have no idea. On my way home my parents asked if I was hungry. I wanted Pizza Hut. We grabbed a pizza and headed home. I sat on the couch and started eating. I was about 3 bites into my first piece and I was out like a light. I was awoken at 2:30 by a call from my friend Michelle from the school payphone checking up on me. Then I wanted more pizza. I had a small cast on my nose that itched like crazy but at least it was straight.

However, my nose was altered permanently. As if it wasn't big enough, it now has a bump in it that was not there for the first 16 year and 1 month of my life. I was offered plastic surgery, courtesy of a lawsuit filed against Andy. Yep, against the wishes of my school as they were concerned his pending military career could be hurt, I had Andy arrested for assault and then promptly sued him. I was sucker punched as I walked into a classroom and felt I had every right. However I passed on the plastic surgery. Looking back I am never sure if that was a right decision or not. I have periodic breathing issues that may or may not be linked back to that fateful day in April of 1997. And everytime I breathe awkwardly I think back and wonder how the hell borrowing notes for a History test turned into such an irrational act.

*He ended up scoring higher on the test than I did. My nose was broken over a B+.

You Treat Me Like The Dog I Am

2010-01-15T04:07:00.001-08:00

I have found many instances in life when certain memories disappear for a while. Not blocked or anything, but just fade away. I don't think about them for a while. Then, something sparks one. And the funny thing is, once that memory is brought back to the forefront of my brain, I will find other triggers for it usually pretty quickly. All of a sudden, something that I hadn't thought of in years is something that seems to come up a lot. Case in point:

Last week, a friend of mine from back in Connecticut told me he ran into Mandy randomly at a show. I had no idea who Mandy even was so I probed further. He reminded me she was a friend of an ex-girlfriend I had back in 2003. I hadn't thought of her in years and her name did not trigger any recognition. But there it was, the memory. And now that it was back, it was due to appear one more time this week.

Back in 2003, I was in the midst of what many would call a rebound relationship. Yep, that girlfriend you have just because she is there and better than nothing, though usually only slightly. Hell, in the long run, it's probably better to avoid these things. And I have the sick gift to know that that was exactly what I was doing. Most people just fall for the next person who comes along. Not me. I was looking for a good rebound. I was bored and wanted a plaything.

I had met Kristi a year previous. Sadly it was on an Internet message board. Yeah, I am laughing at myself on that one too but at the time it was just friendly. It was my favorite singer's website and she was from 1 town over. We chatted a few times and I was shocked to hear she was not going to see the upcoming Rush concert at the Meadows amphitheatre in Hartford. This was the first time Rush would be on stage together in 5 years and I could not understand anyone missing it. So I encouraged her to go and meet up with me and my buddy there. She obliged and we enjoyed the historic show.

Kristi and I ended up hanging out quite a bit. She was engaged at the time and had a child with her hub to be. She was not my ideal buddy but she was fun enough. One day I was dropping her off when she decided to tell me that she was into me. I reminded her about her daughter and more importantly her fiance and tried to let her down easy. I.e. I lied. I told the equivalent of "Hmmm...ummm..gee...I think you are swell but you are taken. If you weren't I would be all over that but, darn it all, you aren't available." Really I just wasn't into her. She was good for a friend but nothing more. Not at that time.

We hung out more sporadically after that. February 2003 rolled around and Belinda Carlisle was playing a free show at the Mohegan Sun casino. I was looking for someone to go with and my other friends were either busy working or underage. I was only 21 myself at the time so I had a rough time finding people old enough to go into a casino. So I called Kristi. She was of age and ready to go.* This started us hanging out again. I had just had an awkward break up and was looking for a rebound. Bam, there she was.

I know you are asking yourself, what about the kid and the fiance? Well, in the time that we stopped hanging she had left him and left the kid with him. Look, we're not talking a pillar of the community here. Rebounds are rebounds for a reason. But to quote the theme song to Fran Drescher's 90's sitcom classic The Nanny, "She had style, She had flare, She was there." Truth be told she had no style and certainly no flare. But she was there. And at that time, that's all I needed.

She was living in my home town that I had just moved out of a month prior with a friend. Consequently when we hung out we would often bring her friend along. Enter Mandy. Mandy was an eccentric artistic type. To be quite honest, she was what Kristi badly wanted to be. Kristi liked to think she was artistic, but she lacked the creativity. Mandy was different. This was a chick I just kinda felt had that side and came by it naturally. As Kristi and I spent more time together, I got to know Mandy better.

The advantage of being a long haired gentleman who takes great care of said hair is that chicks can get jealous of it or can be in awe. Mandy made it clear early on that she liked my hair. If we would be driving somewhere she would randomly grab it. She would quickly run her hand down my hair from time to time. We would all laugh. One day it became very serious.

I am about to part with a secret here. We come back to the present for a moment to get there though. Just days after my friend reminding me that Mandy existed, a buddy of mine came into town and we were talking as guys do. He mentioned something about a spot on his head that when a chick touches it will just melt him. It was then that Mandy entered my mind again for the second time in a week and yet really for only the second time in 5 years or so.

We would hang at Mandy's house where Kristi was staying often. The three of us would gather in Kristi's room and watch tv and chat and what not. One day, Mandy asked if she could play with my gorgeous locks. I had never had an issue with chicks playing with my hair and Kristi was cool with it so I took my place in front of Mandy and she started. Ladies and Gentlemen....ok, really just the ladies, if you want to turn Mr. Hyde into little boy Jekyll, you play with his hair. I can't tell you what it was, but Mandy just turned me to putty. That first time she just rubbed and massaged for hours. I remember Kristi trying to hint that she wanted Mandy to leave so we could be alone. Acting like I didn't know that was her intention, i kept shooting down that idea as I did not want this to end. What were we gonna do that was better than hair rubbing? Oh well, yeah she probably wanted something dirty but the hair rubbing was way better than anything she had to offer.

We would hang many days a week and most every time we would, Mandy would end up playing with my reddish brown mane for hours. Hell, it's why I visited so often. I was like a puppy dog in her hands. She could have asked me to do anything while she was playing and I would have done it. I was completely under her spell. I still had no sexual interest in her but I wanted those hands massaging my scalp more than anything.

Mandy got herself a boyfriend or 2 and the hair rubbing gradually slowed to a halt. After that, it was obvious to me that Kristi had served her purpose and the rebound had run its course. That is another story for another time. I have not seen Mandy in over 6 years and quite honestly that is no issue. I never had any interest in her other than her skills with the strands of awesomeness flowing from my head. There have been a few chicks to discover this weakness in me since. Some were good at it, some were ok. One was great and gave Mandy a run for her money. The bar for turning Dr Wicked into a comatose teddy bear has been raised. I can sit for hours with the right chick doing the right thing with her hands and my head. But due to my two buds bringing up things I haven't thought about in years, I can look back and remember that silly rebound and the person that was most responsible for it lasting as long as it did; someone who wasn't even in it.

*Just in case you were wondering, Belinda was Belindelicious!

Those were the best of times

2009-12-30T10:53:00.000-08:00

More wrap up lists. I don't know why we make these, but we do. Whoo hoo.

Best Songs of the last decade(From albums that did not make my lists)
25.Worth Fighting For - Judas Priest
24.You Ain't Down Home - Julie Roberts
23.Two Lovers Stand - Kip Winger
22.Endless Sacrifice - Dream Theater
21.Soul Mover - Glenn Hughes
20.I Keep Looking - Sara Evans
19.Heaven's A Lie - Lacuna Coil
18.Driving Of The Edge Of The World - Von Groove
17.The Monster Is Loose - Meat loaf
16.Love Is A Bitchslap - Sebastian Bach
15.Don't Look t Me That Way - L.A. Guns
14.Scream If You Wanna Go Faster - Geri Halliwell
13.Breakin' Free - Tesla
12.If I Die Tomorrow - Motley Crue
11.Angel's Eye - Aerosmith
10. Play With Fire - Hilary Duff
9.People Say-Gimmie Some Hell - Jon Oliva's Pain
8.Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson
7.Forgive Me - Shelly Fairchild
6.Push Me Over - Davy Vain
5.Open - Queensryche
4.The One You Love To Hate - Halford
3.Moto Psycho - Megadeth
2.Power To The People - Poison
1.One Little Victory - Rush

Best Movies of the last decade
10.Shine A Light
9.Clerks II
8.The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human
7.The Dark Knight
6.The Two Towers
5.Return Of The King
4.This Is It
3.American Beauty
2.Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
1.American Psycho

Best TV shows of the last Decade
10. Fastlane
9. Six Feet Under
8. Curb Your Enthusiasm
7. House
6. Psych
5. Dead Zone
4. Californication
3. Veronica Mars
2. Arrested Development
1. Dexter

21st Century Sha La La La Girl

2009-12-29T15:31:00.000-08:00

Of course as 2009 winds down, I am reminded that the first decade of the Twenty First century is coming to a close as well. With that in mind, here are my Top 25 albums of the first decade of the 21st century…or the top 25 of the 00s?? Ugh I don't know. Did they have this problem in 1909 too?

25. Lindsay Lohan - A Little More Personal(Raw)
Ok even I hate this chick. But the sad fact is that her sophomore release from 2005 is one of my most listened to albums of the decade. Lets take a look at thematic shall we. I can't say she wrote anything because who knows what she actually had a hand in but the songs here a very well crafted and she has a decent voice. She won't win American Idol, but she has a raspy feel that does it for me. "Confessions of A Broken Heart" starts the album with a melancholy piano tone before the album rocks up with "I Live For The Day" and "Black Hole". Add in a cover of "Edge Of Seventeen" that doesn't sound like a goat sang it and you have a very good pop/rock album. I dig.

24. Iron Maiden - Brave New World
"Your time will come". Indeed Iron Maiden fans everywhere had waited for 7 years for a new album from the Mighty Maiden with Bruce Dickinson back at vocals. Brave New World arrived in 2000 and did not disappoint. A progressive metal return that had us all screaming "Up The Irons". The leadoff single "The Wicker Man" got the album off to such a start that left Maiden fans begging for more. Songs like "Ghost of The Navigator" and "Blood Brothers" would become live favorites. The album just does not let up and brought many fans back to the fold. Fantastic work.

23. Dixie Chicks - Home
Not much I can say about this gem from 2002 that hasn't been said. This all acoustic album is critically praised all over. So why do I like it? Greatness can't be squashed by asshole critics who like something. In spite of that its a fantastic album. The singles were huge except the last one. The overlooked single. "Top Of The World" is a song that I can listen to over and over. Amazingly powerful vocals from Natalie Maines and the orchestral fiddle put this song so beautifully together. Powerful, emotional music does not get better than this song hidden at the end of the album and ignored by radio after controversy broke out. What is art without controversy anyway?

22. TNT - My Religion
I had a few TNT cds in my collection from the 80s when i picked up MY RELIGION in Virgin Megastore in 2004. I did not know what to expect but had some extra cash so I grabbed it. If there is one thing I love about some of my bands who have been around for a long time, it is the ability to be very modern while staying true to the band. MY RELIGION is a great example of this. Starting off with the crushing "Invisible Noise" the band is still shredding their guitars and Tony Harnell is still singing with all the control he ever had if not more. The band is in top form and the single "Give Me A Sign" shows a band still very cohesive writing at the top of their game.

21. Savatage - Poets & Madmen
The first Savatage album in a decade to feature Jon Oliva on all lead vocals was released in 2001. This is a concept album and includes some of the bands best work. The interplay between piano and guitar throughout the album raises the bar for Savatage music. The standout tracks are "Stay With Me A While", "Commissar" and "Morphine Child", a ten minute opus with canon vocals and blistering guitars. Savatage has remained dormant for the rest of the decade, but they kicked it off with a bang.

20. Miranda Lambert - Kerosene
I am not a reality TV fan or a fan of those singing competition shows. So my first exposure to this Nashville Star was the video for "Me And Charlie Talking". It really didn't do much for me. Then I caught the video for "Bring Me Down" and I really liked it. Add the 3rd single, "Kerosene", a real rocking tune, and I had to buy the cd. Not a bad song on it. Songs like "I Wanna Die" and "What About Georgia" set her apart from all the other Nashville blondes and blazed a trail that Gretchen Wilson wishes she could have. It was the sleeper hit of 2005 from a reality tv show loser, and it hasn't lost a step in five years.

19. Jamie O'Neal - Shiver
This Aussie's debut album struck quite the chord with me in 2000. I happened upon the lead single "There Is No Arizona" on the radio and was taken with how different it sounded from the other songs on country airwaves at the time. It was darker and even a little bleak. That husky sound I like so much was all over Ms. O'Neal's debut cd. From the sultry sounds of "Shiver" to the upbeat excitement of "Frantic" this album is non stop stellar songwriting and fantastic singing.

18. Shelly Fairchild - Ride
Out of nowhere in late 2004 came a video on the now defunct VH1Country. It was a very dark haired girl with a voice that was powerful and a bit..dirty. It had attitude and power. The song was "You Don't Lie Here Anymore" and the singer was Shelly Fairchild. I Made a note on my phone to find out more about her. In 2005 her debut album was released. Though she likes to ignore this album now, her fans have a great love for it. Starting off with the dirty southern song "Kiss Me" the album is very different from the rest of what was happening. She has a flair for hitting big powerful moments("Ride") then bringing you back to softness("Eight Crazy Hours"). And "Time Machine is just a fun infectious tune.

17. Doro - Calling The Wild
Doro's first american release in a decade struck back hard in 2000. Starting with "Terrorvision" a restructured track from her previous European release, Doro was out to prove that she still rocked and she was very busy in her absence from the USA. With help from Motorhead's Lemmy and Savatage's Chris Caffery, Doro hit hard and gained some notice with her cover of Billy Idol's "White Wedding". Songs like "Scarred" and "Kiss me Like A Cobra" signaled the return of the metal goddess. I grew addicted to this album in 2001 and it has not let up for the rest of the decade.

16. Iommi - Fused
Glenn Hughes reunited with Tony Iommi for an album so fresh that in 2005, it could have been all over active rock radio airwaves. Starting off with "Dopamine", the Voice of Rock and the Godfather of Metal sound like 25 year old kids making a bold musical statement. Both men have rarely sounded better than on this effort. "What You're Living For" and "Grace" are further proof. I play the hell out of this disc weekly. Not a bad track of moment throughout.

15. Geri Halliwell - Passion
A release that came out everywhere but America in 2005, the former Ginger Spice's third album successfully blends jazz, euro-pop and dance music into one hell of a collection. The lead off single "Ride It" is very reminiscent to something Kylie Minogue would do but with that Geri tongue in cheek feel. The song found some American success when it was featured on the tv show Queer As Folk. The title track is a jazz number with a full orchestra to back her up. It's a brave album with a lot of fun moments. A highlight of Ms. Halliwell's solo career.

14. Shakira - Laundry Service
The english debut of Columbian born Shakira was a breath of fresh air in 2001. While at first seeming to be a Britney clone to unaware audiences, Shakira brought something new to the pop field. She wrote her songs(with English help) and had strange instrumentation. Pan flute in a hit pop song? By the time "Objection(Tango)" was released, I had to have the album. The deep cuts, songs like "The Rules" and "Eyes Like Yours" help to flesh out an album where any song could have been a hit. A great listen that is just fun.

13. L.A. Guns - Tales from The Strip
When it comes to veteran bands staying current, very few bands do it as well as L.A. Guns. The Guns, with new guitarist Stacey Blades on board, put together a themed album about life in Hollywood. With songs that fit next to their classics and sound as fresh as any new band could ever create, this collection is fun and sleazy and a little rowdy. Is that not what is expected from Phil Lewis and Co? A standout track is a song not written by the band oddly enough. "Vampire" not only sums up the album, but a career in Hollywood by these tried and true rockers.

12. Hilary Duff - Hilary Duff
Hilary Duff's sophomore album does have its ups and downs however this album shows growth in many ways.
Overall the song choice is better than her first. You will never convince me that this is a more "rock" album as it is simply a fun pop cd.There are far less computer effects and alterations on this album than on the first. Hilary is not a great singer. On her first album this was hidden under layers of touch ups. On this album, you can tell she worked on her vocals and the result is an album where we finally hear her sing without many aids. There are a few bum notes even on the album, but that is a far better way to go than the way of her former album. As I said the song selection is superior. The true standout track for me is "The Getaway". This song is the best so far in her short career. Its is catchy and somewhat raw. Very enjoyable. I also enjoy "Weird" for its over the top chorus and overall likablity. The dramatics of "Who's That Girl" and "Dangerous To Know" are very good as well. Maybe having an actress sing is a good thing. I have listened to this album a lot since 2004 and will continue to do so.

11. Skid Row - Thickskin
7 years after Sebastian Bach left Skid Row, the band put out its first original studio effort with singer Johnny Solinger. THICKSKIN puts all naysayers to rest by showing off the songwriting talents of Rachel Bolan and Dave Sabo. Mr. Solinger packs a lot of punch and a whole lot of soul on songs like "Ghost" and "See You Around". The band has not lost a step and perhaps even picked a few up. The raw energy from the band is known for is not lost either. 2003 saw the studio return of a big force in Rock N roll, And the album has not let go yet.

10. Def Leppard - Songs From The Sparkle Lounge
All angst toward the title aside, the 2008 release by Def Leppard finally brought them up to date. Starting with the rocking "Go", it was obvious that the Leps were plugged back in and ready to rock. "Cruise Control" is another rocker that harkens back to the SLANG or RETRO ACTIVE albums. As a Lep fanatic, I really enjoyed this album and quite honestly, I was hesitant. But even the ballads are a step above.

9. Lindsey Buckingham - Under The Skin
2006 saw me purchase my first Buckingham solo cd and it is amazing. I can't define the music on this cd. I can just say it is fantastic. In his own way he addresses aging and the changing state of the recording industry and many other topics. The man who I call the most underrated guitarist in rock is in top form. And his vocals are both haunting and uplifting. True talent. This album is a gem.

8. Poets & Pornstars - Poets & Pornstars
From out of nowhere...or L.A., comes P&P. On Tour with Tesla for most oft2007, they came under my radar when my station began spinning the single "Rock N Roll". What a kick in the ass for my crappy Alt metal station. Then they came in for an interview and left us with an exclusive promo of the album which I immediately listened to. Now this is the goods! Even purchased the official album when it came out because good Rock N Roll should be supported. "In The Dark" is such a favorite of mine as is "Earthman".

7. Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy
It finally happened! It only took 14 years but we have it in our slimy little hands. And even though we had heard almost half the songs at various points over 6 years before we got the album in 2008, the album is still a gem. I think the album is a logical progression of the Illusions and sounds fresh. Axl proves that he has what it takes to carry on the legacy of the band. Songs like "Madagascar", "This I Love" and "There was a Time" shine as bright as anything on the Illusions and the title track almost blows it away.

6. Tesla - Into The Now
After a decade without a new album, Tesla delivered INTO THE NOW in 2005. And I do mean delivered. The Title track is not only one of the best of Tesla's career, but one of the best of the genre. Tesla proved that a veteran band could keep moving forward in their career and music and do it seamlessly. The bar was raised for the genre as well as for Tesla themselves. When you listen to "Miles Away" or "Heaven Nine Eleven" or even "Words Can't Explain", you know you are listening to something very special.

5. Dream Theater - Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence
Dream Theater had a hard task in 2002. They had to make an album to follow up one of the greatest concept albums of all time. How do they try to do that? A 2 cd set. CD 1 has 5 songs. CD 2 is one 45 minute song. And what they made may not have been a better album, but they made some of the best songs of their career. I put "Misunderstood" and "Disappear" against most any other song from their career. I like this album a lot. However it was the beginning of over the instrumentalizing.

4. James LaBrie - Elements of Persuasion
In 2005, James Labrie, lead singer of Dream Theater released his 3rd solo album, the first under his name. It took me about a year to get into this album but once I did, I was addicted. The standout track to me is track 10, "Slightly Out Of Reach". Amazing vocals, great flow and killer solos. It is not the only time this decade that a singer's output overshadowed his band's though.

3. Alice Cooper - Brutal Planet
In 2000, Alice put out the best cd in his career, in my opinion. This concept album is dark but so cool for him. It just rocks hard from the beginning of the Title Track. Got to love that song. My favorite on the cd is "Sanctuary". That song is so great. What better place in the world is there than a teenager's room? If you need convincing, check out that song. "Blow Me A Kiss" was the album's first radio single. "Eat Some More" is a really cool tune. He sounds so disturbing. I just recently saw the video for "Gimmie" with Alice playing the Devil. Very cool video for a cool song. I am trying not to go into much detail with the songs, because they have Alice's usual intelligent writing style and I feel I can not do them justice by description. However, just know that "Bag Of Bones" paints a grim picture and was inspired by something he saw on CNN. The album just rocks and is so fresh.

2. Geddy Lee - My Favourite Headache
With Rush on hiatus in 2000, Geddy Lee released his first ever solo album. The title track was a hit at rock radio and the album delivered on that It still sounds like Rush because of Geddy's unique vocals, but there are so many layers to whats going on. Songs like "Moving To Bohemia" and "Still" just get better everyday. Matt Cameron's expert drumming and the stylings of Ben Mink make this album an instant classic. And sadly it did blow away the two album Rush put out in this decade. But all Rush is good Rush and Geddy happens to be great.

1. Beautiful Creatures - Beautiful Creatures
2001 was a strange time for rock music. Linkin Park was hitting big. Marilyn Manson was fading. What an odd time for the greatest rock album of the decade to be released, and by a new band. Joe Leste's vocals are top notch for a veteran rocker. Between his delivery and DJ Ashba's guitar work, this album never lets up and 9 years later still sounds ahead of its time. Real rock n roll brought into the 21st century. This is the album that every rock band should hear to try to get their heads on straight. Balls out, in your face, lewd at times, and always adrenalized. The hooks are there. The attitude is overflowing. And the songs make it happen. The biggest challenge I have had with this album is when I am in the mood to hear any song but the first tune, I can;t skip to it. You load the cd and the riff to "1 A.M." kicks in an you cant hit that next button. Then "Wasted starts and before you know it, you have listened to this whole masterpiece. And you never regret it. This is what rock n roll should sound like.

Year to a Day

2009-12-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

As another year closes, we all feel this need to reflect on the past events and the things that impacted and shaped out world these past 365 days. The relationships we strengthened and the ones we let go. The moments we wish we could pause and stay in forever, and the moments we wish we could forget. Yes all of these are great topics for reflection…at a later date. For now, I choose to wrap up the year with my Top 10 Albums of 2009!
Sadly, I can admit that 2009 was truly the year of the ipod for me. I bought new albums, loaded them into the pod and barely listened to them. I am so embarrassed by it. But certain albums snuck by and here are the 10 I thought were the best to my ears.

10. Spinal Tap - Back From the Dead
The Tap was back! Well kind of. There was old stuff redone and new stuff on this disc but overall it was an enjoyable listen. The leadoff single "Back from the Dead" is as funny and musical as you would expect. And in the era of the pod, these guys went above and beyond in packaging. The album is a fold out digipack that ends up being a display of action figures of the guys on stage. Amazing!

9. Lynch Mob - Smoke & Mirrors
I have never been the biggest Lynch Mob fan but I do love the voice of Oni Logan. After seeing them at Rocklahoma 2008, I was excited for this release. It took me a while to get around to listening to it, but it is a damn fine disc. George''s writing is some of his best in years. It has great maturity without losing any bite. I think it is his finest work. And Oni is spectacular.

8. Lacuna Coil - Shallow Life.
When the lead off single "Spellbound" was released, I remember being a bit shocked. This Euro-metal band had released a Hard Rock single. Of course with my leanings not being very much in the "\m/etal" realm, I was excited. The song was very cool and more in tune with my personal musical leanings. Picked up the album on release day and enjoyed it considerably. Well crafted songs and the mix is the best on any of their albums thus far. This band keeps getting better and I'm interested to see where they go next.

7. Dream Theater - Black Clouds and Silver Linings
Of course when Dream Theater announced that they would be selling their new album in a limited edition crazy collector's version for over $130, I knew I had to buy it. And it was worth it for what you got. But for the album itself, I don't know. The leadoff single "Rite Of Passage" got me excited for the album. The song was very catchy and I played it a buck of times. Then when I got the album, I listened to the whole thing once, and not again for months. I'm not sure why, but it just did not connect. It wasn't until the video release of the song "Wither" that I spun the album again. "Wither" is an amazing song and the video just brought it together for me. Its sad that MTV doesn't play videos anymore. This may happen with many other bands and songs for people out there. Oh Well. On BC&SL, we also got the final piece of the "12 Step Saga" or whatever you want to call it. It took 8 years but the suite is completed and not a weak link in the bunch. Good album that took its time growing on me. Would like to hear James do more awesome singing but thats not the Roadrunner Records way.

6. W.A.S.P. - Babylon
W.A.S.P. delivered on what I think is their best album of the decade. It contains a cover tune that I have been waiting two albums to hear from Blackie Lawless, but he delivered big time. Deep Purple's "Burn" is the highlight of this album for me. Blackie adapted it wonderfully and made it his. Classic stuff. Overall not a clunker in the bunch. Now if we could get an American tour for it.

5. Winger - Karma
Another fantastic outing for Winger. This album mixes the classic Winger sound of the first album and the more beautifully written artistic sound from PULL and IV. This is not a bad thing as the band delivers catchy choruses that could have filled an arena 20 years ago while keeping the songwriting top notch as expected by fans of Kip & Co. It's no PULL but nothing can be. Probably their best album that isn't PULL though and that is saying something for Winger.

4. Foreigner - Can't Slow Down
If you told me four years ago that a Foreigner album would be on my list, I would have been confused. I was never much of a Foreigner fan. The songs were good but I hated Lou Gramm's voice and the vibe of the old songs. Well, enter Kelly Hansen, former voice of the band Hurricane. Since he has joined Foreigner, I have seen them 4 times and been wowed every time. CAN'T SLOW DOWN is the first album to feature Mr Hansen as well as Jeff Pilson, formerly of Dokken, on bass and background vocals. It still sounds like Foreigner, but what they should sound like in 2009. Classic yet current. A hard task to achieve no doubt. The album has the fun vibe you expect form the jukebox heroes, as well as the slow tender moments ow would expect from a band who was waiting for a girl like you. This album is not to be missed. Add in a DVD and a cd of classics and for 12 bucks at Wal-Mart, this is a can't miss hit.

3. Megadeth - Endgame
Ok Mr Mustaine, just when I am about to write you off, you redeem yourself…in my eyes anyway. The decade started well with THE WORLD NEEDS A HERO but every album after that has been full of disappointment and 1 or 2 good songs. But ENDGAME changes all that. This album top to bottom delivers. "44 Minutes" is the standout track to these ears. I'm happy to be back at peace with Megadeth. It was touch and go there for a minute but we have come to terms.

2. Kiss - Sonic Boom
It took 11 years for Kiss to put out a new original album. Was it worth the wait? Well if you were waiting 11 years for Kiss and doing nothing else, find a hobby please. Thats just sad. I enjoy this disc a lot. The songs have the classic Kiss feel but with the new/old blood of Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer in the mix, the bad sounds very current. Paul Stanley sings some unnecessary notes here and there and Gene Simmons sounds good throughout. Sonic Boom delivers and with a disc of re-recorded classics and a dvd, this was a fantastic Wal-Mart buy. Hmmm…a pattern emerges.

1. Orianthi - Believe.
Somehow, album of the year goes to someone I did not know existed before October. Like most of America, I became aware of Ms. Panagaris from her shining moments in the Michael Jackson movie "This Is It". Like Michael, we were awed by her talent and style. Its no easy feat to reinvent the solo to "Beat It" but she did it and it rocked. In looking for more information on her, I found that she had an album coming out in just days. The album BELIEVE is a perfect mix of rock, country, pop and virtuosity. The song "Suffocated" is my favorite on the album. Only 1 of 2 songs she did not write herself, this song is crunchy and hooky…perfect to the ears of the guy who loves both the Spice Girls and Black Label Society. "Drive Away" and "Feels Like Home" could find their way on any country station in America and should probably be all over them. Not bad for an Aussie who played at the Grammys with Carrie Underwood. Since the album was released it has rarely not been in my ears. A fine last minute entry for 2009 that took the top prize. Oh and did I mention "Highly Strung", her guitar duel with Steve Vai? Yeah she keeps up with him just fine. Ori is just starting out on the world stage, but I have no doubt she will be a player for years to come.

It's just another new year's eve

2009-12-20T11:46:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve. Three words that seem innocent enough. Yet throw them together and they create stress. People often put pressure on themselves on New Year's Eve because they feel it is either the last moment to make something out of a dying year or that they have to greet the new year in a particular way. I have never been a fan of The Eve. I just never saw the big deal. It is just another day. Never felt the need to make a resolution either. If I want to change something, I will change it today. But that's just me.

Not to say that I have not fallen into the hype a few times. 1997 was coming to a close and as the nucleus of my group of friends, people were wondering what my plans were. My buddy Joe and I decided to hold a party at my place. We had the same peer group for the most part and could bring in more between the two of us. We were quite the team he and I. We worked everyone we knew and made my house the place to be on NYE. There were some snags though.

First problem in high school of dating within your friend group is when the relationship ends, you still encounter each other more than you'd like. Her fiends were my friends and vice versa. So when Joe suggested that Amanda be invited to the party, I really wasn't having it. Not for any bitterness reasons or loneliness mind you. I was dating Ally, an absolutely gorgeous chick with a psychotic problem I had yet to discover. More on that another time. Amanda also had a boyfriend at the time none of us liked so I certainly did not want him at the party. But as we were in the same circles and I would be inviting all her friends, it only seemed fair that I let Joe invite her. Of course her fist question was "Does Jon want me there?' Joe being the ever charismatic and crafty individual, lied through his teeth and said indeed I did. This did not please Ally in that way that girlfriends have a habit of being jealous of exes, but so be it. Others were invited and all was a go.

Joe and I had a habit of conversing almost every night. During these conversations about chicks we dug or people we hated, we would often scheme. We pulled off some doozies. But for this party we had some sort of silly plan. And looking back I can't even remember what the purpose of it was. Joe had a "black box" for cable. To those unfamiliar with the concept, it was a cabe box that enabled you access to pretty much every channel offered by your local cable company. He thought it would be a good idea to bring it over and while flipping channels we would accidentally land on the Spice, or soft porn, channel. I seriously would love to remember what our plan or reasoning was for this. It wasn't like we wanted an orgy or anything to start so I'm quite baffled by this 12 years later. What was our plan? Ok so we weren't geniuses here. Maybe it was just to loosen people up? I don't know. In all fairness I have never been much of a porn guy and can't imagine Joe was either. This all is just weird. Perhaps if he reads this and remembers he can fill in the blank. But yes, we were gonna hook up the black box and how awesome was that gonna be! Riiiight.

So as the party was coming up, leave it to the ex to create a problem. Amanda was concerned as her boyfriend would be attending a different party and he would be drinking. She wanted to be sure he did not get too crazy so she would have to leave my party to go check on him and then come back. Her dad still liked me and the only reason she was allowed to go to this sleepover party at a boy's house was because that boy was me. He always hoped we would get back together. So had he known she would end up somewhere else for a bit, that would have been trouble. The biggest issue was that not many of us drove. I did, but it was my house and had my car gone missing, my parents would not be pleased. Joe offered to drive her where she needed to be come party time and get her as well. All she had to do was call my house when she was ready. Plans set and it was party time.

I don't remember a lot of pre midnight specifics. I think Ally created some sort of drama but people were having a good time. We watched the South Park New Year's marathon. They were gonna do something special for the traditional ball drop. But arguments ensued and people wanted to watch the ball in Times Square fall. Whoopee. At some point the Spice channel got turned on for a second or 2 and gasps were heard and then it went off. No big deal. Still not sure what the plan was with that one. Joe took Amanda to the other party and all seemed well. Then, the phone rang as planned.

What wasn't planned was that it was not Amanda on the phone. No it was some guy we didn't know. They found my phone number on her and called. She was passed out in their bathtub and had thrown up repeatedly all over herself. This was now a mess. They did not want to deal with her and knew she had to come back to my place for her dad not to flip out. I really didn't need this crap at my party. What was an easy pickup now became a search and rescue mission. They even told us to bring her a change of clothes. We scrounged up a T shirt and sweats and sent Joe and another guy to go get her. The worst part of it was that to get Joe in and out of the house he had to exit through my basement hatch(party was int he basement) as if the front door opened my parents would have heard it. We also had a fenced in yard which meant scaling said fence. Easy enough for us strapping young lads, but how the hell would we get a half comatose girl over it? All these problems plus the risk of my parents and to that end her parents finding out was quickly ruining my night. I was freaking out and the night was ruined for me big time.

I went up the hatch and just stood for a moment in my ice covered yard trying to sort all this mess out. Everything was screwed up because of my damn ex girlfriend. Not even someone I liked! Someone I did not want at my party in the first place. This is what I got for being nice. A guy named Adam came up and found me. He saw me in a daze looking at the sky trying to sort everything in my head. He and I just talked. We weren't even really friends. Same circle and he was very close with Joe. But without really trying he just calmed me down. We then made sweet love. Yipes people, get your heads on right. Can't two guys have a conversation on a chilly night under the stars without being gay? Ok, so I probably didn't help my case there but we just talked and took in the night. It was quiet and icy and it just calmed me down. Tranquility is a special thing when you can find it in the worst moments. Of course my problems weren't over, but I think without that conversation with Adam, the rest of the night may have gone drastically different.

Joe arrived back with almost conscious Amanda. It took four of us but we got her propped over the fence. All the while she was out and it took a good 20 minutes in bitter Connecticut cold. We carried her downstairs and put her on the bed. Yes, in my basement was one half of a set of bunk beds. Other people who stayed the night were all over the floor at this point so getting her to the bed was a chore enough. I had a trash can in case she needed to throw up more. Joe brought her foul clothes back in a plastic shopping bag as she remained unconscious on the bed for quite the long time. At this point everyone was so exhausted that we all just kinda fell wherever and attempted sleep. Well all but one. I decided as it was my house I should probably make sure that our drunken guest was still alive. So i grabbed a chair and hung out next to her head. Every few minutes i would lean in to be sure she was still breathing. And this continued all night. I had the tv to comfort me as well as I was the only person awake all night. I sat through Romy & MIchelle's High School Reunion. For that alone, this chick owed me!

Amanda stuck with us throughout the night happily. As all the kids woke up and called their parents, Amanda slept. One by one they all started leaving. As she was not awake, she did not call her parents to come get her and before you knew it, it was just me and my ex. Oh joy of joys what could be better. I remember as she woke and called her parents, I walked around tidying up my basement. I did not really want to stop and talk with her or anything as we still weren't on the best terms. She asked me to hold on to her soggy clothes as her parents would question the bag. I said I would. She left and I continued to clean not thinking much more of anything. We had gotten through this fresh hell. And oh yeah it was a new year. 1998 would see a lot of things happen. One in particular was unforeseen.

Amanda called a friend of hers later int he day to ask about what had happened at the party and such and what she had missed. Her friend informed her that I had stayed up with her all night and kept checking on her. She could not believe it as we had been in that bad place. She called me and we talked a bit. It wasn't long before she and I would not only become friends again, but best friends. We were pretty much inseparable. It was a fun time.

That night was so very odd and yet some good came out of it I learned how to stay cool under a terrible situation. And how to friend an ex. Not something I was terribly good at but I learned that when you try to force it, it explodes. When it happens organically, or with the help of alcohol poisoning, it can make perfect sense. I can't think of a more eventful New Year's since.

You'll Never Be More Than Second Best

2009-11-03T14:45:00.000-08:00

It all started innocently enough. My intentions were as pure as can be. I knew what I wanted and was willing to do what I had to do to get it. Having to settle for second best was an unfortunate reality, however. Yep, a week late and a dollar short. I had no idea that this second best moment would be one of the most iconic moments in the history of Saturday Night Live.

My sister was working for NBC at the time. WWF Superstar The Rock was scheduled to host Saturday Night Live that week as a build up to Wrestlemania 2000(ah the glory days of the year 2000 where everything was 2000 or 2K). Other superstars were going to be on the show as well. I had to be there. My sister would be able to get me tickets. Life was good.

My excitement was short lived though. The tickets fell through at the last minute. I sat home that Saturday night watching as The Rock, The Big Show, Mick Foley and my favorite at the time, Triple H walked the halls of Saturday Night Live and were legitimately comical and entertaining. It was a bummer. It was so entertaining but I knew most of those people in the audience didn't care about these wrestlers. I would have appreciated the show. But I was stuck.

It so happened my sis was able to score tickets to the next week's show. The musical guest was Christina Aguilera Be still my beating heart indeed. Well she wasn't so bad back then. And the host was an actor I enjoyed. I had seen a few of his films and always found him to be entertaining. And quite honestly his previous SNL hosting gigs were pretty funny as he is kind of an oddball. But, in my opinion a truly fine actor who can portray characters in so many genres. Yup, that Christopher Walken sure was a fine substitute for seeing a bunch of wrestlers.

I had 2 tickets so I invited my friend Shannon along. Shannon and I had a fling once upon a time but at this point we were just good buds. A month or so earlier she had invited me to a wrestling Pay Per View event so I figured I would return the favor. Even nicer was that due to my dad's connections we were able to get into a very nice hotel in the city for the night. Completely innocent I assure you. Two beds and two friends. Nothing more. Her parents did not believe that however. They said she could join me for the taping but made her take the last train home that evening. I would have the hotel to myself. Not so bad though not the original plan.

Shannon and I rode the train into Grand Central Station on April 8, 2000 and hit a few of our favorite hot spots in the city. I really don't remember where we went. I hope we hit the Jekyll and Hyde Club as it was one of my favorite places to go in NYC but I really can't remember. Then we arrived at 30 Rockefeller Center. We were quickly escorted to the seating floor.

We were told the basic rules of being in a studio audience. When it says "Applause" on the big light up sign, do so. Laugh when appropriate. Don't yell at anyone. Have fun. We understood and the show began. The first sketch into the monologue was funny but nothing special. Then the course of comedy and pop culture would change forever.

The scene opened with a shot outside of "Sunshine Studios" in August 1976, or at least this is what we saw on the monitors we watched to see the parts that were not live. Then on the left side of our viewing area, a light went on to start the scene for the live audience. A narrator let us know in a "Behind the Music" fashion that this was a session for the classic rock band Blue Oyster Cult with legendary producer Bruce Dickinson. Dickinson, as played by Walken, gives the band a peep talk and off they go to play their hit "Don't Fear The Reaper". Will Farrell's Character, "Gene Frenkle", begins to feverishly play the cowbell in time with the oh so noticeable cowbell track on the original song. The band questions his over the top cowbell approach until Dickinson comes in and asks for more cowbell. They go again and once again the band halts the recording. Dickinson re enters and asks again for more cowbell. One more time and the band explodes. Dickinson re-enters and Walken delivers a line that has ended up on T-Shirts and Social Networking pages around the world. "I got a fever…and the only prescription…is more cowbell." We laughed as we had the entire scene. They go one more time and the scene closed out as a tribute to "Gene Frenkle", a fictional cowbell player in the band. The rest of the show was uneventful. Other than a turn with Walken as "The Continental", the rest of the show was pretty unmemorable. The cowbell scene was all we talked about but even so could not have imagined what it would become.

After the show, we walked back to Grand Central so Shannon could catch her train back home. I then walked to the hotel for a night in the city by myself. Not so bad of a day.

It wasn't until weeks later that more and more people kept talking about the cowbell sketch. Not many people even watched Saturday Night Live and yet this little sketch caught on. I think it even made "Don't Fear The Reaper" popular again. That is some powerful stuff It soon became huge. And this is before the world of youtube so it really was word of mouth and reruns. Ah, the good old days. I was amazed to see that the phrase "More Cowbell" has its own Wikipedia page. It states ""More cowbell" is an American pop culture catchphrase originally derived from an April 8, 2000, Saturday Night Live comedy sketch fictionalizing the recording of the song "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Öyster Cult." It makes me chuckle overtime i read the phrase or someone brings it up that I was there to see it happen live. I can't think of another lone sketch having such an impact on pop culture as the one that I saw because my previous tickets fell though. You just never know.

Sink or Swim You Gotta Give It A Whirl

2009-10-15T03:04:00.000-07:00

By some standards in life, I was a late bloomer. I remember kids in 5th grade having boyfriends and girlfriends. Of course it was silly stuff looking back, but it was the beginning of watching my peers couple off. There they were, securing their bonds by holding hands on the bus or talking at lunch. Yep, in 5th grade that is all a "relationship" is. And really, in my way older than my years attitude, that is all it should be. Then junior high rolls around. The "dating thing becomes more serious. You can walk to classes together. You may even peck on the lips and go to dances together. Yep things were changing. Yet there I was still single. And looking back, it was my fault.

Though i was probably in no hurry to couple off back then, I also did myself no favors. It was 7th grade and I had a big crush on this girl who was in a bunch of my classes. Lynne was cute enough; a bit exotic looking. But she was someone I had gotten along with for years. So it was only a natural that as hormones began to overthrow my body, that I would slide into the next step with her. At least in my mind. Instead, I set the girl I was so enamored with up with another guy. Was it self sacrifice? Was it that she meant so much to me that all I wanted was to see her happy? Was it that I knew she would be ripe for the picking after they broke up? My motivation was simple. She would see how helpful I was and then she would totally fall for me. So I wasn't very bright in my younger years. I set them up and they were together for the rest of middle school as I remember. However my lack of confidence in the brave new world of the fairer sex would rear its ugly head once more in middle school.

The 8th grade dance is the big almost formal dance of middle school. Its like the prom for tweens. Around that time I had a new crush. Melissa was not the best looking girl but we had a lot in common. She also was friends with Lynne and we all know she was busy. But Melissa was still fun and I was contemplating asking her to the dance. Well I over-contemplated and never asked her. That fear of rejection was just too much for my 86 pound self to handle. But my buddies and I went stag and so did she. All night I wanted to ask her to dance. Never mind that I had no idea how to dance or really what to do and what was acceptable distance between our bodies or what it meant to "lead" or if that even mattered. So all of that coupled with the whole "they're all gonna laugh at you" thoughts going through my head was enough for me to just sit on my thumbs all night. Then the last song was announced. In a twist worthy of M Night Shala…Shinlan…Shamalamadingdong…the Sixth Sense guy, Melissa approached me and asked me to dance. I was overjoyed and elated. I took her hand and walked out on the dance floor. I put my hands on her waist and her arms went around my neck. We bobbed for a while and then the song was over. She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I thanked her for the dance and we walked outside, hand in hand, waiting for our respective rides. As her dad pulled up, we embraced once more…eh who am I kidding. The true story is she asked me to dance and I couldn't hear her. I asked her what she said(though really what else would she have been saying at the beginning of the last song) and she said "Nothing." and walked back. I later found out she thought I asked it meanly or something. But whatever it was, my lack of logic…or over abundance of it, ruined my chance at what I wanted. I learned that this was not the way to live. Confidence issues would not be a problem again.

High school rolled around and freshman year came and went. There were some girls I was interested in that just didn't work out in the whole "priming" process. Then sophomore year started. As I have stated, I was a member of the marching band so the last 2 weeks of summer were band camp. No, this is not going to be some dirty band camp story. To be honest it wasn't even camp. It was just 6 hours a day at the school. But I had decided to be the social butterfly that year. I had upperclassmen who had reached out to me the previous year and this year, I was going to be that person for the incoming freshmen. I said hello to everyone. I introduced myself and let them know they all had a friend. I didn't care if you were the biggest nerd or the hottest girl, you got the same treatment. Quite honestly, and in all arrogance, there were a few…unfortunates, who owed any social life they eventually had to me. I know, I am cruel, but it's true. I had the clout to say someone was cool and to have the legions believe it. And there was no one who did not make the cut. To my credit, i used my powers for good.

I believe it was after the first band competition that a girl at my bus stop told me her friend liked me. Her name was Amanda, a freshman, and I did remember briefly talking to her and her friend on the band bus that weekend. To be honest I thought she was her friend as I talked more to her than to Amanda. But after she was pointed out to me at our next practice, my interest was peaked. She was a bit shorter than me and cute as could be. Reddish-blonde hair which I just loved and a good body on her. Yeah I saw no downsides in this girl liking me. There was one issue. A friend of mine had developed a crush on me. She made it very clear that she was interested. I had no interest in her though but it did excite my ego to have 2 chicks interested. And it did not stop me from trying to flirt extra with both. The problem with my friend liking me was that she told Amanda that as she was my friend, she had first dibs and in essence told Amanda to back off.

At the next band competition, Amanda sat behind my friend and I. The bus was no place to talk to me 1 on 1. Being the social person I was, on the bus, i was house entertainment. I made sure everyone was having fun. From leading sing alongs of the Twisted Sister anthem "We're Not Gonna Take It" to just being loud and obnoxious, I was way too busy for any kind of intimate conversation. So we arrived and competed and all was well. Afterwards we all got changed and sit in the bleachers with our school. It was well known then as it is today that I am a great masseuse. So I started offering to all the lovely young ladies that i would be happy to rub their shoulders and backs and make them all feel better after holding those big instruments or rifles or what-nots. Let's face it, it was a great excuse to touch some hotties.

So my friend went first. I rubbed her for a bit then Amanda's friend went. Amanda was gun shy due to my friend's warning so I offered it to her. She accepted and I started rubbing her shoulders. As this was October in Connecticut, it was getting cold and she stated she was getting chilled. Cold has never really bothered me so i took off my heavy jacket and put it around her. To describe it, the back of the jacket was on her front and wrapped around her shoulders. This is important because as I was rubbing her shoulders, obviously my hands were now hidden. My friend was leaning against me as I rubbed. At some point, Amanda reached a hand up and held mine. Then the other followed. I was no longer massaging her. We were holding hands. Yes, I can hear your collective "AWWWWWW" as you read this. But for 15 year old me, this was significant. We sat like that for the rest of the night. At one point, my friend caught on and she checked under the coat. She saw the hand holding and became upset. I should have just told her I had no interest. But having 2 chicks chasing me was just too much fun.

We got on the bus to head home and when it's all dark on the bus, all bets are off. I sat with my back against the window, propped up on with my arms straddling the seat in front of and behind me…the very seat Amanda was sitting in. My friend laid down in my lap and as i brought my right arm down she held my hand. She was quiet and maybe trying to sleep or just trying to have a moment with me. But I wasn't in that moment. She had my right hand, but Amanda had my left arm. I had it wrapped around her and held her against the seat. I know this is true romance isn't it. The funny part to most people around us was that they could see all of it. They could see that I had a chick on each arm. I always make the joke nowadays that "Hyde" does not go out on the town without a chick on each arm. I wonder if that was the genesis for that. Probably not. Maybe I am just trying to find silly meaning in my shallowness. Among my circle of friends, this was all the rage to talk about come Monday morning.

I had people asking me who I was going to choose. Amanda once again kind of avoided me as my friend had issued yet another warning. I would love to say that this is all an exaggeration, but it isn't. In that world in high school, everyone is in everyone else's business. Because I was the social one who extended a hand to all of the people I could, they were all focused on my choice. The end of Monday had arrived and yet still I made no public declaration of my affections. Tuesday morning was the same thing but more intense. I had already made a decision but no one knew. Amanda was really avoiding me as my friend was all over my every move. Before school, our group(about 40 of us) would gather in a lecture hall as we waited for the start of the day. There was a ten minute bell and a five minute bell warning us how much longer we had before we had to be in our first class. People were waiting. The ten minute bell went and my time was running out. I had no classes with either girl. If I was to make a move, it would be now. Or…maybe later? The 5 minute bell sounded and I was out of time. That bell rang and we all started going to class. As amanda came down from up higher in the lecture hall, I quickly made my move. I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. Yeah, Mr. Suave I was. That was the best I could throw out there. How could anyone decline such a great offer. I asked her to go out, which was not in. We would be going someplace in theory. How I don't know as I was 15 and she was 14. And then, just to really bury myself, I threw in the sometime. I showed her I was aloof and open to suggestion. Or that I had no experience asking a girl out save a badly written note shoved into the desk of a girl named Kathleen in 6th grade. Yes we would go out…sometime. If she said yes….

At 15 years old, I had finally asked a girl out…sometime. At the time that seemed very late. Many friends of mine had already taken that plunge. But as I stated, I was a late bloomer by many people's standards. But I faced the challenge head on and went for it with the most nonthreatening non committal invite ever. Out sometime. Perhaps we would go somewhere someday.

She said Yes.

I said Cool.

You know I'd like to get to know you, but I ain't got the time

2009-10-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

For a fan of music such as myself, few thrills can match that of meeting your favorite band. By 2003 I had met a bunch of bands that I loved. Happily I had met number one Def Leppard once. That meeting was less than stellar though, by no fault of the Leps.

They were promoting their newest release "X" and were doing so by playing the largest Wal-Mart in the country on August 1 2002. Yep, you can't make his stuff up. A stage was erected outside in the parking lot. The fans were told we could not approach the stage until a certain time. So we all sat in a line about 100 yards from the stage. Then, the go ahead was given. And we all started to run. Though I am not the most athletic person in the world, I am a fast runner. So like the wind I ran and managed to be right up against the guard rail in front of where guitarist Vivian Campbell would soon be standing. The show was fun and the band sounded great. But the highlight for me was the meet and greet following the show.

For 14 years I had wanted to meet this band that had so shaped my life. What would I say? What would I do? Were they going to be cool? So many questions. We waited in line for hours through the store. We approached the table where they were seated. We were told we could only have them sign the new cd. I had brought a copy of the cd by Girl called "Sheer Greed". Girl was a band that guitarist Phil Collen was in previous to joining Leppard. I wanted him to sign it as it was very rare. I hoped that i may be able to sneak it in.

Finally we were at the table. Lead singer Joe Elliott was first up. What to say? How could I sum up how much this band had influenced the direction of my life. I squeaked out "I just want you to know that you have been my favorite band for 14 years and I am only 21." Joe responded "Thank you. That means a lot" I could not have asked for anything more. Down the line we went and the members were all gracious. Mr Collen did indeed sign my Girl cd. He joked and said "These things just keep popping up from time to time." And soon the experience was over. But I had met my band. I figured that would be it. Oddly, the opportunity would come back around just one year later.

It was August of 2003. Def leppard were to play the Oakdale theater(Now the Chevrolet Theatre) in Wallingford Connecticut. Of course I had tickets and could not wait for the show. In the year since that fateful meeting, I had seen the band 10 more times but was always ready for more. On the day of the show, my then girlfriend alerted me to the fact that local radio station WCCC was giving meet and greet passes to people who showed up by 6pm and were wearing Lep swag. Well I got in touch with my buddy Jay and he got there early and I made him wear my union jack T shirt as I wore the '83 original with the leather pants as well. I was so stylish in my thin youth. So we drove there and parked and hung out outside with my sis and my mom. Yup, Def Leppard had become a family affair. Ya gotta bring mom to have a good time. My friend and then writer for Metal Edge Magazine Roger and his wife showed up and I mocked his Red Sox hat as he claimed he peed on a purple mustang. Good comeback Mr Spook! My car may have been purple but the Red Sox will always shit! He then went to the tour buses to interview Ricky Warwick, the opening act. We were then herded together by "Craig The Pornstar" from WCCC at which point he said there were 5 sets of 2 passes and the recipients would be decided by...........
DEF LEPPARD TRIVIA

To say I was elated by these 3 words would be an understatement. There is nothing I know better than all things rock and especially Def Lep. So when Craig asked who wanted to go first, I shot my hand up. The question: How did Def Leppard originally spell their name? Now I was thinking this was a trick question but I cautiously answered "d-e-a-f-l-e-o-p-a-r-d". The response: "You're going backstage" Holy Shit!!!!!!!!!! ME? GOING BACKSTAGE? HOLY SHIT!! They asked who I was gonna take so of course I grabbed my sis, but then rethought it and grabbed my mom, as my sis would know more and would be a better choice to win another set for her and Jay. They had only one pair left when they picked her and asked: What album did Def Leppard release in 1984? My first reaction was none and my sis was stumped. I then thought about First Strike, the album the ex managers put out abroad after the success of Pyromania and mouthed this to her. She said it and they said it was incorrect. People shouted out HIGH N DRY and PYROMANIA and none were correct. I then told Jessica to say HIGH N DRY with remixes, which also was released in 1984. She did and it was still wrong. Finally, he said the answer was RETRO ACTIVE. Now that amazing disc was released in 1993!!!! So I got in Craig's face and told him that and that my sis actually did state an album that was released in 1984. So he gave her the passes. YAY!! All 4 of us were going to the meet & greet. See, as the Lep expert, I take this stuff seriously. Yep, I am that guy. But dammit I know my stuff. I'm not saying there is pride in it, but inside my head is a brain so full of random trivia that I can only recall facts if a point value is assigned to the answer.

Jay and I ran back to the car to get our cameras and stuff to sign(Chinese import of X and their greatest hits collection Vault on Vinyl) and we enter to hear that even with backstage passes we could not bring in cameras. So down the pants they went. Yes, when in a concert environment and a camera is needed, you put it right down your pants. Its the one place they won't pat you down. Consider that tip a freebie to all you up and comers. After hanging around for a few minutes, we were led into the theatre part where we passed Malvin Mortimer, their tour manager for almost 20 years. I squeaked out a "Hi Malvin" and he replied with a "Hello" back. Yep. I just geeked out. Totally shot that one right out. I was now "that fan". Then through 2 more sets of doors and we were outside. We talked with a few people whom I told I would get pics of if I could as they did not know about my super secret down the pants ti. We were then told that they thought we would be meeting Joe Elliott and Rick Savage. I knew you only meet 2 and not the band and this was the 2 I would ideally choose. So I started getting very excited. Then the screen door opened....

Out came Joe and Sav. They walked out with Sharpies ready and started signing various pieces of their lives that fans had held onto for years. Finally Joe made his way to me and I handed him the Chinese X cd. Joe was dumbfounded. He had never seen it or even known what was on it. He went over the tracks and realized the 2nd disc was just Vault. Then he just had to show it to Sav. He thought it was pretty hip. He Took it out of the slipcase and opened it up and everything to know more about it. Gotta love when a band doesn't even know what their international releases look like. Different markets do different things. He was also impressed when my mom had him sign the vinyl Vault. He said something to the effect of all the unusual stuff coming out tonight. When Joe signed my cd he asked my name. I said Jon, with no H. He said "Like Jon Bon Jovi?" I told him I really did not want to think of it like that and he laughed. Sav came over next and signed my cd and my Vault record. My sis got her Union Jack T signed as well and Jay brought his X cd cover. They also gave us each a signed 8 X 10 of the band. Then we had a group photo taken for WCCC and then I got an individual shot with Joe. They really weren't doing these but as God hates a coward, I had to try. Joe obliged and life was good.

We went back inside and hung out when I found Roger again. He went in to watch Ricky. We had seen ricky 10 other times so we were happy to skip this once and just hang. Well this chunky but still kinda cute blonde chick starts talking to us and she just loves us and gave us hugs and kissed my cheek. Strange to have fans for doing nothing! I am a legend. Somehow. And I did not mind her at all. We hung around during Ricky and talked with peeps we knew until it was time to go in.

We walk in and "Coma" by Guns N Roses is playing. Having been to see them as many times as I have, I know it isn't long now. As we walk in, the same blonde chick and the 2 dudes she was with sees us and grabs me and kisses me again and her friend in the real 83 union jack shirt grabs me too and wont let go. They were so excited to see us. I did not mind this either. This comes with the territory of being a rock god ya know? As I walk to my seat people are shouting to get my attention. Just a wave from me, a mutual recognition from various people I talked to throughout the night, was all they wanted. It's so hard being so awesome. No, really it is. We find our seats. 6th row. DEAD CENTER!!!!! Beautiful view with short chicks in front of us. The lights go down...

The show was incredible. I did not think the crowd was great but the band did. But they teased us!! BIG TIME! In between tunes, Joe says "Wasted?" in response to someone's cheer. Then Phil kicks in the riff to one of the best songs the band has ever written that they very rarely play live and the rest of the band joins. I noticed it sounded a bit off in the drums but they played more then just the main riff. They kept going. Joe just stood there and the crowd went nuts. Then right as the first verse would kick in...STOP! Nothing. "Who knew Def leppard could be spontaneous?' But then did not play it!! AHHHHHHHHHHH Then at the end, after Love Bites, Joe points to some dude n a Thin Lizzy shirt. Then says they are gonna mix stuff up because we were such a great crowd. I am thinking "Here comes Wasted" Then Joe states that this is a song they have never done before. All I could think was that my request for Desert Song was about to be fulfilled. But no, they played a Thin Lizzy tune "Don't Believe A Word" i believe. Cool to see something they had never played before though. I got one pic after LET'S GET ROCKED ended as of course, cameras were not allowed. With a camera someone might do something very bad…I am not sure how though. Then we headed out to the lobby where we were practically assaulted by this scary chick with a Popeye arm(only one) and her old friend and her cute friend. But The Popeye chick kept making us touch her arm by shaking hands and shit. Scary. But nothing I am sure Lep has never had to deal with in their fame. She told Jay and I that we were hot. Funny stuff but once again, these 3 just gravitated toward us. More fame without being famous. It's a tough life i tells ya.

Since this night I have had the opportunity to come face to face with members of the Lep a few more times. Each has been a delight. They are still my favorite band and seeing them live is always a thrill. Meeting them is cool enough but my views on meeting bands has changed. I would much rather work for a band nowadays then meet them at a show. Meet and greets are nice but with my goals in life, they just don't satisfy. I am not looking to be their friend or anything. But in a business capacity, it would rule to just work for them. I have my goals. I am good. Meeting people who have influenced my life has always been a pleasure. I have never been let down. I just don't place as much importance on them as I did in my younger years. Growing up is silly, but maturing can be a good thing.

You can make a fortune in lies

2009-10-07T02:33:00.000-07:00

To be honest, its been a bit agonizing trying to write this blog. I have a lot of stories I can tell but the minute I open the text program here, nothing. I can't think of a single story to write about. A good friend gave me a piece of advice to help me. She has been wrestling with her own creativity lately so this advice was coming from a very honest place. Her idea: Start from the beginning.

I kind of already thought I did this with my Def Leppard blog. As I said that was the moment when the rest of my life became a bit clearer. And yet I was seven at the beginning of that story. So it was time for some hardcore memory raiding. What is my first memory? Is it at all interesting? If not, what is the first interesting one? The second? So on.

It so happens my first memory is indeed an interesting one to look back on. Its my first verifiable memory at least. Its the first thing I clearly remember and there is not pictures or anyone else to share the story with me to tell me about it. Yep, my first memory was a secret. A big one. Huge. Especially to a 3 year old.

At 3 years old, I entered pre-school. Mind you, I was a cute kid. All the 3 year old girls were trying to get my phone number. Sadly, I didn't yet have my number memorized. Blast you missed opportunity and my young unconditioned brain. To this day I do remember one girl. Amy. She was blonde. She and I would play often together. She was my "best friend" at school. We would grab toys off the shelf and play for what seemed like hours. 10 years later we started dating. 5 years later we were engaged. 5 years after that, i caught her cheating on me with a guy I had never met and I wasn't sure she had either. I cut it off right then. All those years wasted.

Ok, so everything after grabbing the toys off the shelf was a lie. I just chuckle at myself sometimes that I can remember a girl I have not seen since I was 4 yet I can't remember most of the people I went to high school with. So no, we never dated never got engaged or any of that other stuff. But we did play together. Supposedly most boys did not play with girls at that age. But I always knew where the goods were. Its always been easier for me to be friends with girls. They are fun and interesting. Always have been and always will be.

So when we would take those toys off the shelf, there was one I always played with. A Batmobile. Yes, Batman's main ride. It was the 2 seater so he could bring his boy-servant Robin along. It was based on the Batmobile that appeared in the tv show. It had a silver divider that went in between the two seats by going over the plastic windshield. On this it had buttons that made noises. I played with this Batmobile everyday. I am not even sure why. I don't think I had much exposure to batman in my youth. But this car was great. It made noises and it let my imagination run wild. I don't remember what stories I made with it or anything, but I played with that thing everyday for almost a full year of school. Thus we arrive at my first actual memory.

It started like any other day. We did whatever we did outside. Came inside and it was time to play with the toys. This day, I was playing by myself. I grabbed old faithful, my Batmobile. I started playing: zooming it around, providing my own sound effects until I needed more. Yes, my sound effects were the best in analog mouth quality, but i needed bigger and better, like George Lucas screwing with Star Wars. With my tiny sized pointer finger, I pressed the first button to trigger some sort of mind altering sound that would do nothing but enhance my playtime. But my ears were met with nothing. No Batastic siren. Nothing. I pressed the next button. Nothing. I pressed the third and final button, my only hope…much like Obi Wan Kenobi to Princess Leia in the first Star Wars. Wow, what's with the Star Wars references? Am I a Kevin Smith movie? Enough. This is Batman dammit!! Upon pressing the third button my fears were confirmed. My favorite toy, my constant companion, my imagination station, had stalled.

As a three year old I knew of only one thing to do. I picked up the toy and calmly walked it to the teacher to see if she had any batteries to fix my toy. Wait, that was my second lie in the story. Not at all what i did. Nope, my first memory is also my first memory of my first lie. Or my first memory of saving my own skin. I pressed the buttons again, but harder. I would make this damn Batmobile work! Rapidly I pressed each button harder and harder until I heard a crack. Something was broken. This went from bad to worse All of a sudden, the windshield of the Batmobile was wedged into the gears underneath. My Batmobile was immobile. My Batmobile was broken and beaten. I was devastated. I played with this thing everyday and now, it was dead. What to do next?

What I did next was the part very few people know about. I looked around, most likely in a panic to see if anyone had heard or seen what I had done. They hadn't! I was halfway in the clear. Next, I had to formulate the plan to get this thing out of my hands and back to the shelf before anyone suspected I had done anything. As i peered around suspiciously, i picked up the Batmobile and slowly walked it back to the shelf. I tried to give the aloof appearance that I was done playing with this particular toy for the moment and perhaps was just moving on to something else. That walk felt like 10 miles. I felt that all the eyes were on me. Sure they did not see it, but they knew. I never put the toy back early, but I had to get the evidence out of my hands! What choice did I have? I could not be caught with this faulty super hero transportation machine! I had to put it back, I tell ya, I just had to.

So back on the shelf it went. The Batmobile I played with daily was broken and back where I got it from everyday. The 3rd shelf. And it would stay there. I never played with it again. I mean, it was broken. How was I going to play with it? But that wasn't my logic. My 3 year old brain came up with the idea that if I never played with the Batmobile again, I would never be linked to its demise. Ok it wasn't the best plan ever. But I was three! Sure enough, everyday I looked at that car but never picked it up again. Nor was I ever accused of breaking it. I'm not sure anyone ever noticed it was broken. All I knew was that I was in the clear. And that was all that mattered.

Sure, looking back it was a big silly nothing incident, but when I was 3, it was huge. And like I said, Its my first real memory. I never told anyone about it. Not until at least 20 years later. Yet, here I am putting it out there. "Start at the beginning", she said. Well this was the beginning. The beginning of a life full of breaking Batmobiles and saving my own ass. Ok, maybe just the second part.

He don't have a friend left

2009-10-04T12:45:00.000-07:00

My first actual memories of Professional wrestling were receiving the big rubber Hulk Hogan figure and two thumb wrestlers for Christmas in 1987. I can't even recall if i was a wrestling fan but I am guessing I was a fan of the Hulk Hogan cartoons. I had a Hulk Hogan lunch box but I only remember that due to the photographic evidence. Sometimes I wonder how many actual memories we have or if we see a picture enough or hear a story enough that it becomes part of our memory and not an actual self made moment in time. Heady, no?

It wasn't until I was in 4th grade that wrestling would re-enter my life. My good friend Michael S. and his friend Mark were wrestling fans. And then I had another friend also named Michael A who was a fan. I remember Mike S being a huge Ultimate Warrior fan and he got me hooked on the guy too. This incredible beast wore face paint, tassels around his biceps and legs and had new colors overtime he sped to the ring. Yes, he ran to the ring to an amazing piece of three chord rock n roll that set the tone of the man to a T. It was like the embodiment of 80s metal on a Wrestler. There was a time I won a competition at school about Presidential facts. To celebrate my victory, i tied my shoelaces around my arms and held my belt above my head. I wasn't the coolest kid ever, but I knew my presidents. Yes, The Ultimate Warrior catapulted another obsession in my life. Professional wrestling was a don't miss affair for me every week. Of course I was almost traumatized by the first week I sat down to watch the weekly show. WWF(World Wrestling Federation) Superstars of Wrestling aired on Saturday mornings on WTXX Channel 20 in my little end of Connecticut and then aired right after it ended again on WPIX Channel 11 in New York. So on that first episode they showed a recap of a wrestler known as the Undertaker attack my Ultimate Warrior and lock him into an airtight casket. Automatically I hated the Undertaker and would never forgive him for this!

It wasn't six months into my fandom that something strange happened. The Warrior was in the main event of the annual SummerSlam event. When they showed the recap pics the next week, there was no sign of the painted one. Then, he just disappeared. Where was my favorite? As I was new to the game I did not know that when a wrestler left a company he was wiped from history(back then). No mention of them no telling us where he went. Nothing. My favorite was just…gone.

I was now in 5th grade and I needed a new favorite. Enter the Rowdy One, Rowdy Roddy Piper. I was always kind of quick, but this guy made me up my game. Unlike the Warrior, this man wore a kilt to the ring. But it was the interviews that caught me. The man was fast and when he interacted he could cut ya down no matter who you were or what you said. This quality appealed to me and I was soon getting rather quick with the wit myself. A quality that is with me to this day. Perhaps if Warrior had no opened the door, I would not be the fast talker I am now. Of course, six months later, Piper was gone. But the Warrior was back!

Wrestlemania 8. April 2, 1992. Michael A. had it ordered on pay per view and had invited our friend Josh and I to watch with him. The card was ok. But the amazing moment came after the final match. Hulk Hogan was being beaten down by a couple of brutes named Sid Justice, a giant with a screw loose, and Papa Shango, a voodoo man. As Justice left the ring to grab a dreaded steel chair to inflict more pain on "The Hulkster", color analyst Bobby "The Brain" Heenan uttered the words "He(Hogan) don't have a friend left." But then, we heard it. The Ultimate Warrior's 3 chord metal anthem began to play! I don't actually remember what happened next from that initial viewing. No, I only know it from the countless times I have watched it back over the past 17 years because when we heard that music play, we began jumping and screaming our heads off. HE WAS BACK! The Warrior ran down the isle and back into our lives. 6 months later, he was gone again. He was to main event a Pay Per View event known as Survivor Series. For no explained reason he was out and the wrestler known as Mr. Perfect was his replacement. My life was changed again.

Having long hair and an attitude to match the fact that I really didn't care if I was accepted or not had its challenges. When people try to cut ya down, you don't just say, "I'm happy with myself and my mommy loves me." You might as well kick your own ass. Soon, my way of combating the few who did try to pick on me was to adopt the Mr. Perfect persona. If some kid tried to say something about me, I would remind him that I was perfect. No, this was not a foolproof plan. What it did accomplish for me was a built in confidence in myself that lasts to this day. I don't believe I am perfect. But I do believe in my abilities and also recognize my shortcomings without letting them beat me. Mr Perfect was exactly what the doctor ordered. With junior high school looming over my head, it was only going to get worse. I was short and scrawny and did not fit in at all. But I had my confidence. And it made all the difference.

Soon Mr Perfect was semi retired and the Warrior had disappeared and Roddy Piper kept coming back but without the spark in his eye that I had so admired. Life was interfering and though I watched wrestling every monday night, for a while there, I just wasn't sure who my favorite was. Wrestling was in a transition phase and while I liked the Bret Harts of the world and the Diesals, I just did not have that same enjoyment as I did with my heroes. My favorite star of WCW, the rival promotion to the WWF, was Brian Pillman. Brian was an amazing character. In his early years the man flew around the ring like no other American and certainly like no one I had ever seen. "Flyin' Brian" was a smiley good guy. Then, he turned on the fans and became a bad guy. This was the first time my allegiances were tested in such a way. So I stick with the man or change with the attitude. Ultimately now that I understand the wrestling business more, I understand that the best way to support the man was to boo him. The more boos he got, that meant he was doing his job well. But I liked Pillman and I liked the attitude. So I stuck with him. This was a strange place to be in. My friends always cheered the good guys as did the world. Yet here I was rooting for a bad guy because I refused to give up on him and quite frankly, I liked what he was saying. Maybe being a bad guy wasn't so bad.

Pillman came to the WWF in 1996 and assumed the "Ticking Time Bomb" persona. He would do or say anything at anytime. He had blurred the lines of fantasy and reality so well that even some of the wrestlers themselves were fooled. Pillman played the part to excellence and made him the biggest commodity in wresting history. At the time of his signing he had the longest contract in wrestling and one of the highest payouts in the company. Sadly, on the eve of his signing, Brian was in a terrible car accident that shattered his ankle. But he continued to wrestle. The ticking could not be stopped. But the time bomb blew a fuse.

I remember getting a phone call from my friend Michael S at some point after 8pm on Monday, October 6 1997. He told me that at the beginning of the WCW Nitro program, they ran a Graphic that read "Brian Pillman: 1962-1997". That seemed strange to me as Brian did not work for WCW anymore. Could it be true? Other wrestlers I liked had died before. Actually only one , Kerry Von Erich. He had shot himself in February of 1993. His family has a history of tragedy and quite honestly after learning that story, his death was not much of a shock. But Brian? He was one of my #1 guys. This made no sense. He was in a great feud at the time and finally seemed to be getting some recognition. As the WWF Raw program began an hour later, i knew I had to be tuned in directly at 9. Sure enough, the show opened with WWF owner Vince Mcmahon in the ring asking us all to observe a 10 bell salute in the memory of Brian Pillman. And there was every wrestler lined up at the top of the stage. Friend and foe standing next to each other for their fallen brother. And in a house in Connecticut, a 16 year old teenager was shockingly saying goodbye to one of his favorites. Another hero down. Another harsh lesson learned. You can be 35 years old and in competitive shape, but if you have an inherited heart condition, none of that matters.

These days I still watch wrestling. My heroes are gone. Either retired(Ultimate Warrior, Bret Hart) or dead(Pillman, Mr Perfect[for whom I still spit out and swat away every piece of gum I chew]) but there are a few who entertain me still. And there are some who have still helped me through whatever it was I was facing at particular times in my life. Good ol' wrestling. My friend.

I Got Me A Rock N Roll Band Its A Freeforall

2009-09-30T15:29:00.000-07:00

I have known since a very young age that I wanted to be in a band. Hell, I knew I wanted to be a singer. There are pictures of me trying to hard to replicate the less than iconic cover to Barry Manilow's oft-overlooked 1981 album "Barry". There are pics of me with a microphone, or roll on deodorant or a flashlight or anything that looked like a microphone. Yep, my path was clear. I was gonna be a singer. So of course, at a young age, I took up drums. And I was pretty good. But being at the back of the stage was never my goal. I wanted to be the frontman. I knew I could entertain people and have them pawing at my feet. Yes, I could be a Rock God.

It took a while but i put together my first band in high school. I had met a drummer in marching band who had similar musical interests as I did. He enjoyed Skid Row and Rush and also brought into our lives the influence of Smashing Pumpkins's drummer Jimmy Chamberlain. His name was Ron and he was a monster. Check that, he was like Animal from the Muppets. But a controlled chaos was just what I needed in a drummer. He wasn't the brightest kid, but most drummers tend not to be. But he took orders well and kept us laughing. He was a really good guy too. So I had a drummer and I would sing. But we needed more.

In biology class I started talking to a guy named Tom. He was a huge Guns N' Roses fan and a guitarist who really wanted to be Slash. He was also a Kiss fan and turned me on to the album Kiss Alive 3. This album killed and the kid said he played guitar. So I talked him into joining up. He once spent the night at my house and I learned a few of his favorite GNR tunes on drums to play with him but he had not even learned them yet. So our first jam session was aborted. We had never even played together and we had a band. But, we had no bass player…oh wait yeah we kinda did.

I had been listening to a lot of Rush around that time and had really discovered what a great instrument the bass could be. Hearing Geddy Lee play it so beautifully and melodically made me want to be a bass player as well as a singer. So I got a cheap bass starter pack. It was an Ibanez and the bass sounded great…when people who knew how to play played it. When I played it, it sounded boring. But I wanted to learn. We had a band.

We met up in Ron's basement. I left my bass at home as really I did not know how to play it. And we played. Man we ripped right into some of our all time favorite songs and they were amazing. Yep, thats what I would like to say. Actually I really don't remember how that all went down. I don;t know what we played that first day. I would imagine some Guns 'N' Roses but I sadly don't know. Was there magic in those four walls? Probably not, but we made a good racket for ourselves.

Soon, we needed a name. I would love to remember some of the band names we threw around but I am not even sure we did. We named ourselves after the 1993 Def Leppard album Retro Active. It was a good name and as we liked to think we had that 80s feel, it suited us. Yes we were gonna save rock n roll! We were gonna talk dirty to you and have nothing but a good time. We were livin' on a prayer and wild in the streets. We were breaking the chains, pouring the sugar, kickstarting hearts and running with the devil. Actually were were 3 bums with half a dream and an attitude bigger than our talents. Next up: Writing!

We decided we needed original songs. Covers were no fun and true artists write their own. I had dabbled in writing my own tunes for about a year. They were bad. Very very bad. Tom had some lyrics written but they were usually based of Guns N' Roses themes. I remember the classic song he wrote called "Appetite for Destruction." He handed me the lyrics and I came up with some neat melodies and good hooks. It was the first time I dabbled in a very basic form of arrangement. Later in life this would be my true talent in music. Hearing how things could sound was way easier than creating them. But we did do some writing. Another classic song of our was a song called "Scream". What you had in this was a song about sex written by 2 guys who had actually had very little sexual experience and a guy who had never even felt the skin of a female. So we set off to write this little ditty. The chorus was as magical as any song written in history.

SCREAM - I'm gonna make you scream
Put you up and make you scream
This will be the night of your dreams
I'm gonna make you screeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm

Yep, amazing isn't it? I mean I can't believe I just put that out here for free. Some up and coming band will see this thing and steal it and I will have to go to court and fight for years to prove that my writings came first. Well I guess I will have to take that gamble. But there it is in all its glory. A classic song for the ages. "Scream" was our calling card. When people heard the name Retro Active, they thought of "Scream".

We entered the studio and we put down "Scream" and another song. Immortalized to tape in one of the finest studios in all of Connecticut, it was only a matter of time until we made it big. We could have had the world at our feet! Sadly that studio was really just Ron's bedroom and a guy brought over a 4-track recorder. In all fairness, this band was going nowhere and something had to change. Me.

I remember driving to my place with Tom as he played me a tape of Poison's "Something To Believe In". He made me pay particular attention to lead singer Bret Michaels's vocal prowess. While looking back this seems a bit silly, it was the truth. Tom pointed out to me that when I sang, I was very monotone. I took his advice but really had no training to cure it. Soon, through circumstances lost to time, I was out of the band. I believe they got the guy with the 4-track to be the singer for one battle of the bands thing but then Retro Active was officially dead. While singles like "Scream" could have blown up the world, they lay dormant forever. Ron and I went on to be in another band together. It was a bit better but plagued with the same issues. Add in that I was way more into my girlfriend at the time than a band that was going nowhere and the recipe for disaster spelled the end of that one as well. I last spoke with Ron a few years back and he seems to be doing well.

Tom went out to Los Angeles and oddly enough ended up back in Nashville. We have tossed around the idea of jamming together just for kicks but nothing as yet has come of it. We are cool with each other and do laugh about the old days. He still plays. He does more of an acoustic solo rock thing now. I keep meaning to go check it out but life gets in the way. Soon though.

Me? I have a band. And oddly I am the singer. I have begged them to replace me but they won't. More on that at another time. Oddly we have often pulled out a song that Ron and I wrote many years ago. He came up with the title and I wrote the rest. And it's a song I still enjoy. It just falls short of being there. It has for over ten years. Maybe someday I can complete what started in a different state, and seemingly in a different life. Retro Active in its original state never hit a stage. Perhaps one of their songs can.

Tell me what you want..what you really really want

2009-09-29T15:32:00.000-07:00

The year was 1997 and I was on a 12 hour bus trip to Washington D.C. My High School's Marching band was chosen to be a part of Bill Clinton's 2nd Inaugural Day Parade. I was in the midst of my first relationship at the time. She was in the color-guard and thus would be taking this trip as well. I was all too excited to spend this long trip with my girl in my seat with me. I had not even felt her up yet and hours in the dark on a bus seemed like just the right time to get some boob action! Long story short, they were fun and perky.

But another life changing moment would happen on that trip. When we arrived in D.C, we stopped at a mall/train station. I would love to say I remember the name of it but I just don't. There was a cd store in the mall and I was all too happy to check it out. Sadly I don't remember if I bought anything or not. I can usually remember where I bought every cd I have so I am guessing I did not purchase anything. However my girlfriend did. She purchased a cd single by a band I had never heard of. By the cover I saw they were a chick group. My girlfriend had been into artists like Alanis Morrisette and No Doubt so I could only assume this was more of the same. She said she happen to hear the song on the radio and really liked it. Then she had the nerve to try to make me listen to it. If you want me to hate a band, force me to listen to them. Many bands that I enjoy were introduced to me previously but i did not want to hear them at the time. I need to discover things on my own. So she popped this piece of pop drivel in my cd player and made me listen. It did not take long for me to reject it. I was an admitted pop fan, but this was just junk. Who wants to listen to a bunch of British chicks singing something called "Wannabe."

It turned out I did. My girlfriend at the time would go around singing the new anthem by the Spice Girls for the next 2 months. Now, the idea of "you gotta get with my friends" sounded kind of fun to me but I think i misinterpreted the message of the song. After we broke up, the Spice Girls only got bigger. And they were just not my thing. Until one fateful day while watching the VH1 series Pop Up Video. This show was amazing. You learned silly trivia while the videos played. You could sit through a song you didn't like just to learn some facts. This was true entertainment. Well, the video for "Wannabe" came on and I sat through it to learn some fun facts. Then it hit me. Listening to the redhead sing the line "So tell me what you want/what you really really want", I found myself drawn to that voice. Something about the tone just did it for me. All of a sudden I liked the Spice Girls. I don't think I had been a fan of the band with the number one album in the country since 1993 with Aerosmith's Get A Grip. Yet there I was enjoying what was "popular". I called my buddy Joe up and told him I had found a reason to enjoy the Spice Girls. he was impressed. Then I gave the other singles a chance.

Soon I was a Spice Girls fanatic. I grabbed the first album and then the second when it came out. I created a dance to the song "Spice Up Your Life". I bought all the magazines and silly memorabilia. Pictures in envelopes, Pop Rocks lollipops, I was hooked. The tunes were fun and catchy and the marketing was brilliant. And the redhead, Geri Halliwell aka Ginger/Sexy Spice, was yummy enough to put all over my walls. Then there we the movie. Spiceworld opened in January of 1998. It had been a year since my now ex girlfriend introduced me to the world of all things Spice and boobalicious. Now, I went to the movie opening night with a different girl(her boobs were bigger but not as fun). And I laughed my butt off. It was a great movie. Ok, was it really great? Not really but it was campy goodness and I approved.

Soon, they announced their first American tour! I had seen their live home video and was very excited to see them in concert. They announced a date for July. The same ex girlfriend who introduced me to the girls over a year ago was my partner for waiting in line outside a Strawberries retailer to buy tickets. She brought those same mammaries that filled my memories but there was no gratuitous groping this time. Unfortunately we ran into problems that i don't quite remember and we did not get tickets. We figured we would just get them later. A few weeks passed and the news broke that Geri, my favorite, had left the band. Well my interest in wanting to see the girls dwindled. Then, the first post-Ginger single was released. The song was "Goodbye" and I really enjoyed it. It seemed I would not be anti-Spice after all. So I got some free tickets to the show and I went. It was good. Entertaining. But without Geri, the spirit just wasn't the same.

I am reminded of something interesting at this show. That ex girlfriend of mine mentioned during the song "Viva Forever" that the song reminded her of she and I. From meeting on a bus to that awkward high school relationship to breaking up and then being friends, something about the lyrics made her think of me. She at one point tried to tell me that No Doubt's "Don't Speak" reminded her of us, but when I hear that song, I do not think of her. When I hear "Viva Forever", inevitably, her face crosses my mind. Not so much in a romantic aspect, but just the way she was and the way I was and that time in our lives. "Do you still remember/how it used to be?" indeed.

Soon Ms. Halliwell put out her solo cd in America and it did not light the world on fire. It would take the Spice Girls 2 more years to put out new material and it was lackluster. They broke up and then reunited in 2007. One of their final shows was to be in Hartford, CT in February of 2008. 11 years and 1 month after I was introduced to the Spice Girls, they were saying good bye. And I was in CT at that exact time. And right in time for my birthday.

The show was amazing The Girls had amazing choreography and cool costume changes and sounded amazing. It was a great way to end the love affair. Sadly I was snowed in about 30 miles away. Damn you Connecticut and your snowy weather! Damn you to hell. Thus my Spice Girls obsession continues. I have all the cds, vhs and such that I could. I have all of Geri Halliwell's solo albums, two of which were not released in America. I found all the import cd singles with all the bonus tracks and remixes. Yes, I have it all. Anything to keep my life spiced up. Touching my first boob was an amazing experience. However, I have much fonder and vivid memories of the Spice Girls than I do of those breasts. Damn you Father Time!

Audio version with Bonus Insights below:
Tell%20me%20what%20you%20want.mp3

Step Inside...Walk this way

2009-09-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

We all have that moment in life where we knew what direction our life was going to take. Or at least what direction we wanted it to take. That moment that you can look back on and say it pretty much defined you for the rest of your life. It may be the birth of a child, the death of a loved one or perhaps a near death experience of your own. Contemplating ones mortality seems to be a catalyst for things such as this. For me, it was watching Rick Savage ascend three stairs in slow motion at the tender age of 7. Yes the bass player for Def Leppard changed my life. Perhaps it was the director of the "Pour Some Sugar On Me" video, Wayne Isham who deserves the credit but I am just splitting hairs now. They can argue that between them. But yes it was that very moment that pretty much defines the rest of my life.

Lucky for me this was not exactly my first taste of popular music. I had been raised on a mix of the Rolling Stones, Barry Manilow and selected hits from 1979-1981. Pop culture had an early impact on my life and I was aware of a bigger world because of it earlier than most of my peers. While kids I knew were listening to "Puff The Magic Dragon", I was rocking to "Too Much Blood" by the Stones. (It should be noted that I don't believe I ever knew anyone who listened to "Puff", but it has been my go-to children's song for almost 2 decades so go with it). Other kids' parents were a bit scared of me perhaps. But I liked it. It did not hurt to have an older sister who was just old enough to be getting into that world. I bypassed Disney pretty quick for Revenge Of The Nerds.

Back to Def Leppard. If you haven't seen the "Pour Some Sugar On Me" video, go check it out now. Youtube, dvds, or vhs. Whatever it takes, go watch it. There ya go. Life changing wasn't it? Wait, you did watch the Live video and not that terrible one where they are in a house being destroyed right? Whew, had to be sure. Ok well think if your seven year old self had seen this. It just looks...big. I don't know what it was, aside from the fact that it is the greatest 4 minutes and 57 seconds in rock n roll history, but this video changed my life. I had already begun growing my hair long due to seeing Davy Jones on The Monkees reunion tour, but this solidified the fact that I would have awesome long hair.

Funny thing about that Davy Jones look. You have to find pics of the man circa 1986/87. Much like most of the kids of the 80s, i discovered the Monkees through MTV and Nickelodeon picking up the show. That lead to a reunion tour and a killer album called Pool It as well as a great new compilation called Then and Now: The Best Of The Monkees. You have to understand while reading this that I am a Rock N Roll encyclopedia and I have no choice but to share my overwhelming wealth of knowledge. Anyway, Davy put out a biography. I brought this bio to school one day in 1st grade for Show and Tell and let my class know that I would be growing my hair long like Davy had. They kind of laughed and my teacher scoffed and wished me luck. Little did they know. My mission remained the same though my goal was changed. I no longer wanted to be 40 year old englishman. I now wanted to be a 28 year old englishman. Big difference.

So from that moment on I was a Def Leppard addict and all I wanted to do was be part of that world. No the Leppard world, but that scene. That life. I wanted to be playing to screaming fans. Or I wanted to be one of the screaming fans. This was eye opening and as I said, life changing. This was everything I could ever hope to be a part of. And while people grow out of that, I cant say I ever have. I never saw a reason to.

I have been chasing that video all my life. Honestly even before that momentous occasion, I wanted to be a singer. Blame Barry Manilow or Mick Jagger, but its what I wanted to be. The genre just changed. I spent probably hundreds of hours in my basement pretending to be my favorite rockers. I think the big 3 I wanted to be were Joe Elliott of Def Leppard(the reason I still hold a mic in my left hand to this day), Steven Tyler of Aerosmith(scarves and all) and James Hetfield of Metallica. Yeah, that is an odd memory there. I distinctly remember having a fake guitar slung way too low as I sang Metallica songs into a flashlight mounted on a pool cue. I have never even been a big Metallica fan. I always say I like about 1 song per album. Yet back then, and up to about 1994, Metallica was the coolest. James Hetfield had the coolest stance when playing and singing. Who wouldn't want to be him. This may be hard for the younger kids who know James as short haired and kinda whiny thanks to the movie Some Kind Of Monster. But I always wanted to be a singer. So what did I do?

I asked for drums. Why? I would love to say I know why but I don't. I think drums were cool in their own way. You got to make a lot of noise. Maybe there was a confidence thing when it came to my singing abilities. I don't know but I got drums for Christmas one year. I was probably 5 or 6. Maybe I wanted to be Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees. I sure did not want to be Charlie Watts. And I played them. But once I saw that Leppard video, I knew I wanted to be the singer of a killer rock band. I wanted to wear ripped to shreds jeans. I wanted to have fun on and below the stage. I wanted to sing songs like "Pour Some Sugar On Me" and "Rag Doll".

I remember vividly the first time I saw Leppard's next video, "Love Bites". I was sitting in my father's den with my sister. His den was one of 2 rooms in the house that had cable. We were flipping through the channels and the video was on. So there was the band I saw on this huge stage looking bigger than life in the darkness singing into studio microphones. It was so shadowy that we spent the next few minutes debating if this was even the same band we had already come to truly enjoy via one song. I argued that I believed it to be them as a one armed drummer is kinda hard to miss. In my sister's defense, the mirror images in the video actually do make it a bit rough to figure that part out. But at the end of the video, my argument prevailed as it was revealed that this was indeed Def Leppard. It wasn't long until they were cemented as my favorite band. And they have never let me down.

Of course we all know what happened to the music world since 1988. But with my band still packing arenas when many of their contemporaries can barely pack a club, I know that little 7 year old me picked the right pony. I can't help but be proud.

This decision and path in life was not without its pitfalls. In the formative years that are 7-12, I took a lot of crap for my long hair. Lets face it, the pains of individuality don't start happening until middle school. There are no goth 9 year olds. So for me to be walking around with my fantastic mullet and my G-Whiz(one of those mall stores pre-Spencers) Def Leppard Hysteria shirt, I was a target. Not too badly. But every now and then someone would say I looked like a girl or a teacher would be a little scared of my rock T-shirts. Lucky for me by 3rd grade, I had an ally. Jerry. He had a rat tail haircut and a Def Leppard shirt of his own. No one picked on Jerry as he was a big kid. Not fat but not muscular either. Me, I was scrawny and short. And my hair was longer. But Jerry and I were our own club. We weren't best of friends, but when surrounded by kids who were wearing cartoon characters on their Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls, we were a solid unit who were aware of a much bigger world than the others in our school.

Jerry was actually the first person to inform me of a pivotal piece of sad news. Steve Clark, the guitarist of Def Leppard, had died. I was waiting outside my homeroom class in 4th grade. Jerry came up to me and asked if I had heard. I had not but quite honestly I really didn't believe him. Steve, to me at the time, was the least interesting Leppard member. How could he be dead? I just figured Jerry had gotten a bad piece of info. Its actually sad that in the world of the internet, I don't remember how we heard rumors back then. When I got home, my mother asked me if I had heard who died. I said "Steve from Def Leppard?" And I had my confirmation. at 9 years old I am not sure I knew how to process this. I think i just kind blinked and it was over. Something though told me this was significant to me. I cut his obituary out of my local paper. I still have that piece of newsprint. Its in plastic. Honestly, the loss of Steve as a fan has never been something I think too much about. I don't often wonder what the band would sound like with him. I do sometimes wonder what he would look like standing on stage where Vivian Campbell has stood since 1992. But the more I learned about Steve perhaps he was one of those that just wasn't supposed to grow old. I don't claim to have known the man. It was just that first death experience of one of my early heroes.

Yes, MTV changed the world. And they changed the dreams and life path of a 7 year old boy in Connecticut. Amazing isn't it? It is kinda sad that they don't play videos anymore and that the videos they do play are garbage. Sorry, but Coldplay and Fallout Boy videos won't have the same effect. There are no new rock idols. Perhaps it was the absence of any true Rock Gods later in life that prompted this 7 year old to create one later in life. All still in an attempt to chase that video and that moment that forever changed me.

Audio version with bonus insights below:
Step%20Inside...Walk%20this%20way.mp3

The Beginning...At Last.

2009-09-21T20:01:00.000-07:00

This is the tale of a 28 year old fuck-up. Sure I have done some cool things in my life, but currently, I sit here unemployed, up late watching the magic that is TV on DVD. Magic. A word I use quite often in my daily life so I can only think I will use it a lot in the coming pages. Why? I think its because my outlook is that of someone who still believes in magic. Not so much pulling a rabbit out of a hat, but more someone who, for all my inherent cynicism, still looks at the world with wide eyed amazement. I am also a terrible typist so one would have to think that this really is some labor of love for me. Yet I am starting this project on a whim. Hell, if some chick can write a book about performing someone else's cookbook recipes, I think I got a shot. It may be a blog. It may be a short story that sits on my computer for years until i finally admit defeat and delete it. Or perhaps someone is reading this. If you are, thanks for coming along, Let me introduce myself in a little more detail for you.

I consider myself boring, yet people gravitate to me at gatherings.
I have good stories, yet the credit for the situations they come from often goes to someone else.
I have never smoked a cigarette, nor have I ever been drunk.
I have never had a one night stand, but I may have fucked your wife.
I didn't go to college, yet I have taught graduate professors.
I have never indulged in any narcotics, yet I have been to prison.

It has not been a rough life. Honestly most of the challenges I have faced I have brought on myself. I would love to say that those words are true of everyone, but it just isn't the case. Some have to fight the harshest of adversities: Bad neighborhood, racism, parental misguidance and so on. I come from a Utopian suburb in Connecticut. As a straight white male brought up by two loving parents whom are still together, I cant say I had a whole lot of barriers in my way. No, the only issues were my own. This is not a biography so much as a lesson to be learned. I am not sure entirely what that lesson is, but it should be neat getting there.

Audio Version with bonus insights below:
The%20Beginning...At%20Last.mp3

Featuring "Come Right In" by Dave Rude Band from their EP Carry Me Home. Available at www.myspace.com/daverudeband